I'm new! A little about myself... I'm nineteen years old, a student of philosophy and feminist studies, and I probably live north of you. (Not disclosing where exactly. ) Beyond that, I suppose you'll have to get to know me.. I'm a lesbian, an idea which I'm still getting comfortable with, which is why, I suppose, I am here. I'm still deeply uncomfortable with my sexuality, and I still feel ashamed about it. As much as I can feel proud and happy with this part of me intellectually, I still feel a sort of deep shame when it comes to connecting that part of me to the rest of my self--I have a hard time talking about, still, with most people. I still have problems articulating anything relating to my sexuality to my friends and acquaintances (let alone family!)--and I'll admit it's been getting better lately, but still. It's still a problem that I have to work through. As for my gender... well, as one of my friends aptly described it, I'm "internally androgynous". I think that describes it pretty well. When people think of androgyny they usually think of it in terms of aesthetics, which is fine, but they tend to forget about androgyny in terms of interiority, in terms of a self that isn't gendered or doesn't have a gender. I don't really believe I am a woman or anything else, internally, so I would best describe myself as androgynous. Since I'm female, though, I was socialized as a woman, so in terms of aesthetics I am gender-conforming (I wear skirts and dresses, I love make-up, I wear my hair long, etc. etc.). But in terms of how I act, I'm not really gender-conforming... hence, I refuse to identify as a woman or anything else, and so I could best describe myself as internally androgynous. That said, other people will usually always perceive me and identify me as a woman because of how I present myself aesthetically. *shrugs* I'm totally comfortable talking about my gender or gender in general. That isn't a problem. It's articulating anything about my sexuality that is a problem for me. I suppose that's why I'm here. I'm glad to have found this place.