Umm...hello there. ^///^ *nervous fidgeting* My name is Kaetriana (that's not my real name though). I'm a girl. I'm nineteen. I am very shy and I like cute things, Lolita fashion, video games, writing and drawing. I'd like to be a game designer, writer, artist or all three! I've known I was interested in other girls since I was a child, pairing two female Barbies together and crushing on female toons, then eventually on females in class, but was in denial because of the way I was raised. I always told myself: "You can't crush on girls. You're a girl. You have to like boys." So I tried to condition myself to be attracted to guys when I wasn't really attracted to guys at all. In high school I drifted between dating guys long distance. I was never really into any of them. I just convinced myself I had to be dating a guy at all times. Eventually I met my best friend and I fell in like with her. I spent some time with her and enjoyed it. Unfortunately, she's mostly straight and I don't have a chance with her. I broke up with my last man three months ago and I want no more. I don't see the point if I'm not really into men. It's time that I accept my attraction to females and proudly say I am lesbian. No more denial or hiding behind a man. It's time I also accept that I am generally quite asexual. I have no interest in sexual activities, though I have been peer pressured. :dry: So I have tried it...not something I enjoy or want to do. I'm happy to stay sex free. This doesn't mean I can't cuddle or touch a sweet girl though. Also it does not mean I don't want to adopt children someday. I do. I can't come out to my family because they are strictly against gay rights and want gays to stay in the closet...so I may as well stay in the closet. My father has made a point that I probably would not be welcome in his home if I was lesbian. I can't risk getting kicked out because I've already got several counts against me for my mental conditions, this would probably be the last straw and I'd be out on the street. If I was out on the street I'd either be homeless for awhile or I would have to live with my mother, which isn't a good place to live. Anyway, I'm rambling on and on and on. I'm a girl. I'm a lesbian asexual and proud. But I am still smart enough to know when to not come out to certain family members. The end? Or just the beginning?
Welcome to EC. Yeah, its pretty awesome here. Oh, and thats always how I feel when I'm supposed to be writing a forum intro title.
