Hey! First time posting, but I've been lurking for awhile. Reading the posts here has helped me a lot, and I just wanted to say thank you as well as share a little about myself. I was very mixed up and confused through most of my preteen/teenage years. It seemed like everyone around me was talking about how hot this or that guy was. I'd play along like I felt the same, but I just didn't get it at all, and it felt like there was a wall between me and everyone else. I thought I was broken somehow, and after leaving school to start homeschooling, I isolated myself from everyone in an attempt to avoid feeling that way. As lonely as that could be sometimes, it worked for the most part. There were many times when I wondered if I was gay, but I always dismissed the thought so quickly. I don't know why. The only homophobic influence in my life was the church I went to, but that was one of the many viewpoints I didn't understand. It wasn't until I was 18 that I had a moment of realization that was a lot like an anvil falling on my head. It was a little scary, but liberating also. I wasn't broken, I was GAY, and it was time I stopped telling myself otherwise. My parents were getting divorced at the time and coming out didn't seem wise. It was best not to ever say anything about anything back then. Ever. When that situation was finally resolved, a family member got very sick and was for a long time before finally passing away. Again, it didn't feel like a good time to come out, especially since I was struggling to pretend to be ok for my younger sister, but I really was a mess emotionally. That was a couple years ago. Since then life has been calm and almost normal. There was nothing stopping me from coming out but myself. Hiding had become second nature, and I wasn't sure how to stop. I was completely lost, and by the end of this past summer that feeling was getting to be unbearable. Then I came across EC. A few months later, I came out to my mom, my sister, and my dad. And most recently my boss, who is a lot like family and someone I knew would be understanding and supportive. I'm still not completely out, but I'm doing my best to change that in the next few months.I might not have gotten this far so quickly without EC, so again, thank you. I'm very grateful. And this turned out to be much longer than I planned on. My apologies to whoever took the time to read the whole thing.
Welcome, and know that you are among friends. If you need someone to talk to, we are here. It's a pleasure to meet you, and be well. c:
Hello and Welcome to EC!! This reminds me of how I felt. I was glad to realize that there was nothing wrong with me, but at the same time, I was scared to death about coming out.
Hello and welcome to EC! No need to apologize for the length of your post. I actually enjoyed reading it. I understand your struggle, even though mine may be a bit different, since the only person in my family who knows is my sister. I respect the courage you have to be able to tell people. I wish I had that. I'm glad EC has helped you in some way. I hope it continues to do so.
Hehe delurking. But yeah wow I can see why it never seemed like the right time to come out. I'm glad you did it though. And man... I think for me being home schooled would have made things worse, although I could have done without middle school. Anyway, welcome!
Thank you for the welcome everyone! One of my jobs can sometimes take me places where there is no Internet, so I might not be able to post as regularly as I'd like. But I'm happy to be here
Hello, and thanks for the welcome. I think everyone has all the courage they'll ever need somewhere inside of them. It might not always feel that way, but it's there when you need it. That's how it's been for me, anyway. When the moment is right, you'll find it.
I sure hope so. I think my biggest fear is my mom finding out, mostly because she's so convinced that I'm straight, lol. But anyway, thanks for your kind response. Have a great day!
