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Halo everyone!

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by nevashiva, Feb 7, 2013.

  1. nevashiva

    nevashiva Guest

    I am a new member to this site, and although I am no stranger to forums discussing gay issues, I must say I did give up for a while on sites 'like this', because...I usually just end up irritating all the members with my indecision. But I have read some posts here and I feel like giving it a shot...don't know why...but here I go!! lol.

    So I am basically a middle eastern, muslim background...GAY! guy :grin:...and I am 24 years old....and I live in Canada.....aand...hmmm lets see here, well my family knows, even though they see it as a 'disease', most of my friends know as well...but yet again they see it as something that is a problem that needs to be fixed, they are compassionate about it, but as long as it is a disease kinda thing.

    Now my main problem is, it is very difficult for me to decide wither being gay is actually a disease or not. Now I know everyone will jump my throat going what are you talking about of course it isn't.

    But I am a medicine school graduate, and there is a lot of things that people do that they enjoy that lead to higher risks of disease or whatever health concerns, that albeit being explained to people they still choose to do these activities because well they enjoy them. I also am puzzled by the sudden change of how homosexuality was seen and then all of a sudden was written off as a mental illness.

    I unfortunately had the typical problem of a very overbearing mother, and a physically abusive (throw and kick in the stomach) kinda dad. So it is very difficult for me to dismiss things that for example NARTH or psychiatrists of that effect state about how you know, you kinda hate men so you become gay....which is really messed up, but the more I grow up, the more I feel the human mind is really twisted, and most of the emotions we think belong and explain us, are actually out of our control.
    Kinda of like when you get stabbed with a pointy object you bleed, you didn't choose to be vulnerable to pointy objects, or to feel pain when you are or to bleed, but that's just how your body is and that is how it reacts.

    I read before that deaf people did not want to be labeled as disabled anymore, but would rather be called different, and I remember feeling, is the problem here being seen as deficient...I mean obviously being deaf does not have the same righteous zeal prejudice that accompanies being gay, but still, they just don't like feeling gimped for it, no one would ever feel compelled to force someone deaf to be able to listen, feeling bad that he is in that situation to start with. But I just felt like...so are you saying if being able to hear is accessible it should be disdained, because being deaf is just...special.


    I felt like it was a mirror to the problem of being gay. I mean as liberal as society is in Canada, even the athiests secretly hate gays or feel they are wired wrong, and I hear all of those comments because people don't know I am gay. So I was really shocked because I always thought God is the main reason why people don't like gay people. But honestly I think the best explanation was put by someone who said I am arachnophobic as much as I am homophobic, I have nothing against spiders, but I wouldn't want one in my bed.


    BUT!! All this random 'logical' rambling aside, I feel horrible imagining that I can't just love a guy and be happy ever after, I really want to just put all that stuff behind and just do what feels good to me, but its like...some people feel ok when they bully others, and when they kill, or when they do drugs...what makes me any better than that.

    I don't know....I just wish I know I am doing the right unselfish thing, and I wish I knew if hell was real, and wither its meant for being gay or not. Maybe sex is overrated. Most girls love gay guys, and most gay guys love straight guys which is so strange how misplaced attractions can get, and mean absolutely nothing.

    I don't know I am just overwhelmingly confused and all over the place, and I guess I abused this post now by TEXT WALLING.:bang:

    :help:
     
    #1 nevashiva, Feb 7, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 7, 2013
  2. DeanIsHome

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    Hey welcome to EC (!) I too am of Eurasian Muslim background so i can sort of understand how bad they treat gays, my mom has forced me to go to different classes taught by different ustaads and shiekhs so feel free to leave a message on my wall if you want to talk :grin:

    Also forgot to mention this is the support area this is where intro's go: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/introductions-welcomes-congratulations/
     
    #2 DeanIsHome, Feb 7, 2013
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2013
  3. nevashiva

    nevashiva Guest

    Oh woops, I am so bad at placing posts :grin:...how do I move it.

    Thanks for your welcome! so cool wasn't expecting another muslim 'background' here :grin:.
     
  4. DeanIsHome

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    I think you have to ask a EC staff.
     
  5. BradThePug

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    Hello and Welcome to EC!!

    I moved this thread to the right section for you!
     
  6. nevashiva

    nevashiva Guest

    thank you <3
     
  7. Thatoneguy

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    Hello! Welcome to EC.
     
  8. Bearish

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    You sound like a brilliant mind. 24 and already a med school graduate. While I don't know the exact works of having a Middle Eastern background, I feel that the family issues will fade/improve over time. The society, on the other hand, is of course more complicated. Canada, as much as I love her, as much as it is supposed to be left and great, has her flaws. I think it also really depends on what kind of crowd you are with. Sometimes people are more ignorant than offensive. It's that they don't understand or know. Whether or not that is true, you have the fundamental rights of being happy and doing what makes you happy, as long as it does not harm others. I do think that being who you are and pursuing who you love fall within this category.

    ps. this spider-in-bed thing... he probably has a couple of them all the time...