hi Folks, Another new person here. Before I share my story I would just like to say that I think this forum is amazing. A friend of mine told me about it yesterday, and I just think it is amazing and wonderful that something like this exists. I have had a quick skim through the forums and it seems on the whole to be very supportive and upbeat. Well, here we go, we all have our own stories, and while I think mine is a bit odd, I am sure that there are people out there who have been through similar ( or probably odder) . I am a happily out gay man in his late forties, and have been out now for about 20 years. So, what am I doing here you might wonder? Well, my older brother came out to me a few months ago. His situation is very different from mine in that he is married, with kids, and also recently became a grandfather for the first time. He also works in a very different type of job from me and it would be fair to say that even with the legal protections in place in our country he expects to face some homophobia from colleagues when he eventually comes out. In short, he has potentially far more to lose if his coming out doesn't go well than I did. So, while I love him and want to support him, his coming out is going to be very different from mine and I don't really have experience which is necessarily going to be helpful for him. Also, the fact that I have been out for so long means that to some extent I have actually forgotten how scary coming out is. I hope to persuade him to have a look at this site, but even that is tricky because his wife has access to his home computer and in a small company with a tight IT/computer policy he probably won't feel very comfortable accessing this site from work either. Anyway, that's my/our story in brief. I look forward to reading more about other people's experiences. Hopefully by sharing we all become that little bit stronger. :icon_bigg
Hi Gaysibling, Welcome to EC, in the 2 months I have been a member I have chatted and joined more discussions on this web site than I have done in the last 8 years on other sites, it’s a fantastic open, understanding, and non-judgemental place to be. I am a 53 year old guy married 25 years, no kids, and after some major life changing events starting to think at this late stage in life that I am gay. I had no idea I had any attraction to guys until my mid 40s so this has come as a shock to me. In just the last few months I have discovered over 30 other guys on here who are, or have been, married and have interesting stories many of whom have offered me support and encouragement. I liked your quote “the fact that I have been out for so long means that to some extent I have actually forgotten how scary coming out is“, you are actual proof it does get better! As for your brother, many web browsers have a private mode that allows you to brows without leaving any trace of your activity. It would be worth him checking this out and learning how to use this facility. Sale Gay Guy
I'm not any different from his brother that's married and has kids... im err.... not out yet either.... its too scary.... I might end up homeless knowing my parents =/ so for now and i don't know for how long i doubt I'll let anyone know round my family or relatives, (actualy hold on..... on of my relatives knows... but far away and im sure of it that he won't say anything to anyone meaning im still safe since i know him peronaly.) (his also in another country so no fear from him even if he was here in the UK) but still, im not out to anyone around my area or hardly anyone. I don'd even let my best friend find out... x.x;; (his straight as a sun ray coming down from the sun.) I'm afraid of so many things I just cant tell anyone.... ;(
Thanks for the words of welcome. In the short time I have been on this forum I have seen so many people reaching out to offer warmth to others. This is a wonderful place. I wish strength to you all. In particular Rogue who is going through a really tough space at the moment. Sale Gay Guy...thanks for the tip...I would really like to see my brother have access to this wonderful place.
P.S. thanks Sale Gay Guy for your comment in red. It's good to get someone else's perspective. Although I normally regard my "I'm out .. deal with it" attitude as a plus... but in relation to my brother's situation I thought of it as a barrier ..now I am rethinking that thanks to your view