I don't know why I joined really but here's my story...

My name is Andrew. I'm just going to give you a short summary... first off I joined this site for one reason alone, to make other people notice me. I just want people to talk to me for the lack of people in my life. In real life people take my orientation into question and look away, or they just find me as ''not normal''.

People found out I was gay after I had a fling with a foreign gay French boy in my class. They caught us in an Out Of Orders toilet and no one spoke to me after that, and the boy changed schools a week after. My friends stopped hanging out with me, my family gave me the cold shoulder. And I had no one in my life, except a cousin of mine, who despite the fact that he does not like what happened between me and the French boy, still talked to me and occasionally messages me. And then obviously my math teacher.

He was fifty-seven, and after what happened, around four weeks later, he made advances on me. I knew it was wrong but I needed someone to hold me and tell me they loved me. I would go into his office during breaks, he would lock the doors and sit with me, undress me and touch me. He said he loved me, but I knew he lied. He was caught molesting another boy. He was arrested but died from a heart attack while awaiting court proceedings. I never said anything about this before. I did not like being groped by an older man, but I liked it when he said he loved me and that I was not alone and that things would be better.

Unsurprisingly my maths grade went up from an E to a B+ during that time until the time of his arrest and death. My parents made me changed schools, like several other parents' they were not comfortable with the school after this revelation. Although I think the other teachers were safe. In my new school I found three of my old class mates, who told everyone about what I had done with the other boy and soon enough I was friendless and alone. A very ugly girl with Down Syndrome occasionally joins me for the break though, she eats popcorn next to me and says weird stuff like: ''you have AIDS'', ''can I see your penis?'', ''I'm a hot bitch'', ''do you like bondage?'', ''if you have sex with me your gayness will go away cause I make all the bitches jealous''. Sometimes I wonder if she believes the stuff she's saying. She's weird, but she's all I have for company at school. Girls had been attracted to me when I joined, but when they found out I was gay they looked away.

I suffer from Asperger's syndrome myself. It makes me say stupid things and not notice people's feelings sometimes. I don't know, perhaps I shouldn't have said this. I'm just tired of being lonely. Just the thought of people helping me get through my ups and downs is enough to help me get on.

 

Thank you.... everyone acts so differenly from what I am used to.

 

It was thoughtless I know, I say a lot of stupid things which is why I barely talk at all. Sometimes the few people who do talk to me feel snubbed for some reason.

I once told a girl called Kimberly she looked like my dog. What I had meant was that they had the same name and eyes. Oh well.

And thank you... I kind of feel like I'm on stage for the first time or something. I don't think I'm making any sense. You made me smile a little

 

Thank you. Does anyone know if the notice at the top about sharing your information can be removed or hidden please? It hurts my eyes every time I look at it and kind of makes me feel angry. I hope it's not a stupid thing to say.

 

I can't see it anywhere for some reason.

I love dogs too but it sounded a bit wrong after it came out of my mouth. Sure enough she spat on me and pushed me down a flight of stairs. Oh well.

I know it just blows. I wish I was a normal. I'm terrified of small spaces with people in them for instance.

 

Well we were close to the stairs, so I don't know if she meant me to get badly hurt or if she didn't think about it but I only bruised my knee. It wasn't so bad as when everyone in the corridor laughed at me, including two teachers who walked by.

I get bullied a lot but it's nothing big. I should never have experimented with that French boy. His parents won't let me call him either and I kind of miss him.

 

Ah okay! I thought I couldn't see it or something oh well.


Thank you for the warm welcome... guess I'll stick around and try not to sound like an idiot like I sometimes do. I wish the people I knew were like you guys.. But at least I have met some nice people so I should be happy, even if it's on the internet.