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Hi from an old man

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by 1859guy, Mar 25, 2013.

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  1. 1859guy

    1859guy
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    Hey there,

    I'm 35 and just now kinda facing my sexual identity. Due to some traumatic events and serious lack of confidence, I was on my way to being the 40 year old virgin. I decided to jump in and am now in a relationship with a sweet 21 year old guy. Facing all this stuff brings up a lot of bad feelings and old bad stories and limitations I've put on myself. So, I though this might be a good place to gain some perspective and connect with some understanding people. Sorry if this is a little heavy for an introduction! New at all this!
     
    #1 1859guy, Mar 25, 2013
  2. Wolfie Charm

    Wolfie Charm
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    Welcome to EC!
     
    #2 Wolfie Charm, Mar 25, 2013
  3. FeministFemme97

    FeministFemme97 Guest

    Hello, and welcome! I'm sure everyone here will respect your courage as much as I do :slight_smile:
     
    #3 FeministFemme97, Mar 25, 2013
  4. Dublin Boy

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    Hi there 1859guy :welcome: to EC :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride: 1859 was a interesting year for American History, the year John Brown was hanged for treason by the State of Virginia!
     
    #4 Dublin Boy, Mar 25, 2013
  5. boysdontcry

    boysdontcry
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    Hey there, welcome!
     
    #5 boysdontcry, Mar 25, 2013
  6. Beware Of You

    Beware Of You
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    Hiya!!


    Its nice to see someone else who doesn't care about age gaps :slight_smile: I am 22 and crazy in love with my hunk of a 36 year old american boyfriend
     
    #6 Beware Of You, Mar 25, 2013
  7. Chip

    Chip
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    Hi, and welcome! 35 isn't old... we have quite a few people here in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond. And the feelings of shame and so forth are very, very common and normal as you confront stuff you've been running away from for a long time.

    I highly recommend two different resources:

    First, Joe Kort's wonderful book "Ten Smart THings Gay Men Can Do to Find Real Love, which has almost nothing to do with finding real love, but everything to do with finding yourself and understanding your feelings. It's not a breezy read, but it's really insightful.

    Second, I strongly recommend you check out the work of Brené Brown, a brilliant research who studies shame, authenticity, and wholehearted living. Her TED talks are funny, inspiring, and really make you think . If you connect with the video below, I'd also strongly recommend her book "Daring Greatly."

    [youtube]iCvmsMzlF7o[/youtube]
     
    #7 Chip, Mar 25, 2013
  8. BradThePug

    BradThePug
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    Hello and Welcome to EC!!
     
    #8 BradThePug, Mar 25, 2013
  9. Femmeme

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    Hello and welcome! I'm a few years older than you and just sorting myself out, so don't feel bad!
     
    #9 Femmeme, Mar 25, 2013
  10. Dalmatian

    Dalmatian
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    Welcome! As it's your first offense, I'll forgive you for calling thirty-something people old. Just see that you don't do it again :wink:
     
    #10 Dalmatian, Mar 25, 2013
  11. flyinhernikes

    flyinhernikes Guest

    welcome :slight_smile:
     
    #11 flyinhernikes, Mar 25, 2013
  12. Iowan1976

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    Welcome!!
     
    #12 Iowan1976, Mar 25, 2013
  13. Kay

    Kay Guest

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    Old!!!!! You must be kidding. Hugs and welcome to EC!
     
    #13 Kay, Mar 25, 2013
  14. Xochipilli

    Xochipilli
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    You're not old!
    And I'm sorry to hear about your negative experiences, but you're here now and it sounds like you're in a special relationship. :icon_mrgr
    Welcome to EC!
     
    #14 Xochipilli, Mar 25, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2013
  15. SaleGayGuy

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    Hi 1859guy, Welcome to EC

    You are not old, I'm 53 and not the oldest on here.

    Sale Gay Guy
     
    #15 SaleGayGuy, Mar 25, 2013
  16. RedLight

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    WELCOME! I'm sure you'll find EC as welcoming and supportive as I have. :slight_smile:
     
    #16 RedLight, Mar 25, 2013
  17. Thatoneguy

    Thatoneguy
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    Welcome to EC!
     
    #17 Thatoneguy, Mar 25, 2013
  18. IkeaMonkey

    IkeaMonkey
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    I came into this thread thinking "No way was he born in 1859"
     
    #18 IkeaMonkey, Mar 25, 2013
  19. cycle 50

    cycle 50
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    I guess you are as old as you feel
    I generally feel half my age, until some arthritis pain starts up in my toes
     
    #19 cycle 50, Mar 25, 2013
  20. Winfield

    Winfield
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    i saw old man and came on the thread... 35 aint old dude... its a good age... and people in their 30's are attractive as hell...

    oh and welcome to EC (almost forgot )
     
    #20 Winfield, Mar 25, 2013
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