Hello =)

Currently I don't even know what to describe my sexuality as. I'm female and have always been a late bloomer. Growing up I was rather naive and never thought about relationships more than the innocent fantasies I played out in my head. I was always physically attracted to men, but always lost interest and became extremely uncomfortable after getting to know them. Even when I was younger I was emotionally close to only girls and felt like there might be something there. It wasn't until right before my senior year of high school that I began to question my sexuality.

I went to the gay pride parade in Chicago and enjoyed every moment. I even found a few women really attractive. I mean extremely attractive. My family is conservative to an extent and the idea of being with the same gender was always shunned upon, so it never occurred to me. I was really sheltered. Soon after realizing this attraction I denied it for several years.

It wasn't until recently that it surfaced again. I've always wanted to date, but have only gone out with men. It's never gone far because I become so physically uncomfortable once I really know the guy and they're sexually interested in me. I have a lot of guy friends, but I've never desired more than that. I've never wanted to really be in a relationship with a guy.

I began to think about why and realized my developing attraction to women. Women have always been more attractive to me emotionally and it wasn't until a while ago that the physical attraction has surfaced. I've even finally admitted to myself that I have a crush on one of my friends. I've came out to a few close people and admitted my insecurities about not knowing what my sexuality is 100%. They have accepted me with no qualms and this has given me so much comfort. (*hug*)

I just don't know where to go from here. I'm so shy in nature that I don't know where or how to begin exploring my new found sexuality, so that I can truly understand myself. :eusa_doh: