Hi all, I'm very new to all of this. Let me give you some background. I married when I was 17 and I'm still married but I've been unhappy for quite sometime. My first sexual experience with a woman was 5 years ago. I thought I loved my husband until my relationship with her. It all started on a girls night out and we were drunk. She's always been bisexual so it wasn't new to her. We carried on for a couple of years until I for a couple of years until one night I got so beligerantly drunk and decided to come clean with my husband. I told him I wanted a divorce. The look on his face broke my heart. He started crying. This was a side I've never seen. I stayed out of guilt and broke it off with her. Fast forward 3 years. She's engaged to a man and expecting a child. I thought she was the one I was meant to spend my life with. It tears me apart everytime I see a post on fb about how much she's in love. She used to tell me those things. She said she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. I feel like I've made a horrible mistake. I'm stressed. I'm depressed. Looking forward I know in my heart I'm supposed to be with a woman. I find the soft masculine type very attractive. I don't even look at men that way. My husband will retire in a few years and kids will be off to college. I'm thinking the only way for me to be truly happy is to leave. Only my closest friends knoq about my relationship with this woman. I'm torn. Should I stay and make it work? Is there another soulmate for me out there? I'm mid 30's and I'm terrified of starting over. Then there's my kids. How will they react to my sexuality? Will they ever forgive me for leaving their dad? Sorry about the long post but now you all know why I'm here and I love advice
Welcome to EC!!! wow thats a hard one... check out some other threads on the forum that might be helpful towards you... umm... are you bisexual? coz you can always talk to your husband about it and you can always introduce a girl to your sexual activaties... that might even strengthen your marriage? i just thought that coz i would do that if i was to be married and bi... sorry i cant be much help but i know there are other members who have been there and they will be the best to give advice... Good Luck and Welcome once again
I appreciate the advice. Thanks! Femme I will check it out @Winfield when I came clean with him a few years back he said I was confused and blamed the girl for "taking advantage" of me. Hes older than me and very old fashioned and does not believe in gay rights or anything that has to do with gays. Do you know how hard it is being married to someone like that when you're bisexual? I resent him for it and snap at him everytime he makes his stupid snide remarks. Thanks for the input though. I really wish he could be that open minded.
