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Hi from a confused newbie

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by Rower, May 2, 2013.

  1. Rower

    Regular Member

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    Hi there,

    I found this website about half an hour ago when searching 'coming out to yourself' into google. I am 19 and currently in my first year of uni and have recently been having a battle with myself about my sexuality. Only about half an hour ago was the first time I properly thought of the possibility I could be anything other than straight.

    I feel really quite confused with everything at the moment. I have never had a partner and since being at uni my track record of getting with people on nights out is not very straight at all!! I don't usually make out with people on nights out but this year I had one night out when I was very drunk and ended up making out with 2 guy strangers and one girl I kind of knew.. I don't remember this and didn't think anything of it, girls make out with their friends as jokes all the time, right?? A few months later (a few weekends ago), my flatmate has 2 friends that I'm pretty sure are straight but get a bit lesbianish with each other when they get drunk.. well I got super drunk and made out with both of them. I don't find either of those two attractive though, so again, didn't think an awful lot of it except every time I see them I exchange looks with my flatmates (who are close friends) and I am starting to question myself properly for the first time in my life.

    For the first time I am questioning whether I am straight. As my flatmates know I have made out with some girls sometimes they make comments hinting (jokingly) that I am a bit gay. I am thinking back to my time at school and am realising I may have had slight crushes on some of my friends. I was (and think I still am) in denial. I took these feelings as just wanting to be close friends with these people, but they didn't like me as much as I liked them (as friends).

    Anyways, thank you for reading, I hope you can give me some help or advice. I have just written a lot down that I would not tell anybody right now.
     
  2. BradThePug

    Full Member

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    Hello and Welcome to EC!!
     
  3. Niko

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    Hi, welcome to EC! :slight_smile:
     
  4. ForgottenRose

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    Welcome to the Forums! :slight_smile:
     
  5. SomeKindMonster

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    Hi! I'm new too
     
  6. Obscurity

    Regular Member

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    Welcome. :slight_smile: I am also new, but I came to (mostly) terms with my sexuality years ago.

    Basically, I just decided to let be what may. I decided that trying to fit myself to a label was too hard and too frustrating, so I just said, "Who cares?" I'll be attracted to whoever I'm attracted to, no matter what I do about it. I've found myself attracted to men, women, and transgenders. Sometimes it's a physical attraction, sometimes it's an attraction to their personality. If I was not already in a committed relationship, though, any of the more serious attractions (not just "Dang, s/he is hot!") I could see myself having been with in a romantic relationship.

    I think sometimes labels get in the way of us just being ourselves, if that helps.