...4 days ago. Of course there was lots of tears from both of us. She knew that something was going on. She could tell that I was pulling away from her. We have a very honest relationship besides the fact that I have been sneaking to look at Transgendered and Gay porn for our entire relationship. As of right now we have aggreed to be in a holding pattern and not make any real changes while we just deal with the hurt and we both try to help each other thru this. My wife is truly an amazing woman. This is why I married her. We both want the best for each other. This is all so frustrating and so confusing for me. My wife and I have been married for 4 years and we lived together for 3 years before that. Really good marriage besides that fact that we work too much and I'm gay. I can't even say 100% that I'm gay. I let a guy jerk me off in college and I jerked a guy off while he sucked me about a year later. That was over a decade ago. I have never cheated on my wife. I just look at porn either Transgender porn or Gay porn. I have looked at Transgendered porn for about 13 years and gay porn for about 7. I never look at straight porn anymore. I am not really sexually attracted to women including my wife. I can tell if a woman is attractive or not. I don't constantly check out guys or anything. I also have very limited experience with guys so maybe that is why. Also I am a very masculine man which is what has lead to all of the confusion for so many years. I assumed that gay people acted a certain way. I grew up in a small rural town. I played football and wrestled in high school. I am 6'4" and heavily tattooed, into my truck, and working out. I know that stereotypes are just that but I don't have anything else to go on. I do not know, pretty much anything about the gay community. I always liked girls growing up but now anytime I think about sex i think about a dick not vagina. I don't know if I sound crazy here but that's where I'm at. Thanks for reading. Any advice especially from other guys or girls who came out to their spouse would be really helpful.
Welcome to EC. The experiences you've had are very similar to what many of our older members have been through. From what you're describing, it seems pretty clear that you're gay. And as you may be figuring out, being gay doesn't mean that you have to look or act a certain way; there are planty of extremely masculine guys that most people would never in a million years guess are gay. Gay men come in all sizes, shapes, types, ethnic and religious backgrounds. So yeah, nothing in anything you've said indicates in any way that you're straight, and I think once you embrace and accept that you're gay, you'll probably see yourself being a lot more attracted to men in your day-to-day life. It's good that you've communicated this with your wife, and amazing that she's being supportive. It's definitely not easy for either of you, but it's clearly the right thing to do. And you have plenty of time to figure out what happens next. You might want to post in the "Out Later in Life" section, as there are a lot of older men in your situation that regularly post in that section. In any case, I hope you'll stick around. I think you'll find this to be a wonderful and supportive community.
Hey. I wish I cold offer advice. But I cannot relate exactly. I am married to a man, although I am bi-sexual. He knows about my sexuality and has no issues with it. I can however offer my friendship and support. You will find that the people here on EC are great like that. Hugs(*hug*)
:welcome: Check out the LGBT Later in Life section, there are plenty of people going through the same things you are. (&&&)
Hi Welcome to EC, I can't give you advice, I just came out to my wife a week ago about being bi, but I'm still not sure myself is bi is enough for me... But I can tell you that this is a great community and you will certainly find good advice here! Wish you the best.
hello, welcome to EC. Confusion is my biggest enemy too. I can't really tell who is gay anymore, there is so much diversity in the gay community. A lot of people don't know I'm gay either because I'm too normal they say.
Congrats on coming out to your wife! Confusion was my biggest enemy when I was coming to terms with my sexuality as well. I hope that we can help you out some here!
Welcome to EC!! Happy you and your wife are talking things out. You married an amazing woman, hopefully you can still be close after.
Hi! Welcome to EC! Pleasure to meet you, sir. I can't imagine how hard that must of been for you to tell your wife that. But at least you were honest with her and just want the best for both of you. This is not a sad ending, but rather one with a good outlook. If you have any specific questions or need advice, please ask us here in EC for help. I'd be glad to
