Hi everyone, A little about myself: I first wondered if I was gay at the age of 12, however I was in denial for many years, was even diagnosed with HOCD! Needless to say I had a really bad time during those days but I will spare you the details. It was not until I was like 20 that I started to cope with the idea of being homosexual, since then I had gone through many "stages" of self acceptance, until I got where I'm standing on today. I'm now 24, fully self-accepted as gay, tired of being alone, craving some company, but yet closeted!! You see, despite my age, I'm not completely sure I'm ready to come out, tbh I don't even feel the need to, its not like I wanna hide either, I don't really know, however I think it would all be easier if I had "someone". But its just not that simple, I'm the type of guy you wouldn't know is gay, I'm not super masculine either, just a regular guy, and I am kinda looking for someone like that (nothing against effeminate guys). That makes things harder I guess, since my gaydar sucks. Anyway, just wanted to introduce myself and say hi. Hope you guys are doing good. Cheers.
I feel a lot of the same things you are describing! So welcome, hope to see you around and talk to you sometime!
Yeah, there are plenty of us that are like that, such as myself. Denial! It's a relief to be honest with yourself... And whenever you're ready to tell your most trusted friend, and they accept it, that'll be pretty awesome, too. Hi!
Welcome to EC Diego. Hope you can find someone. There are lots of gay masculine guys out there just harder to find. Any LGBT groups near you? If so go check them out. Good luck.
Thanks guys! Unfortunately there are no such things as LGBT groups down here, or at least I'm not aware of any. Btw I'm gonna spend the next week in Cancun, I know its not the best place to meet people, but I may check some gay clubs and stuff, so wish me luck! :icon_bigg
Hi, welcome to the site from another brand newbie. You were given the diagnosis of HOCD? That's something I wasn't even aware of until a couple weeks ago. To be honest, since I already am fairly sure I have OCD, it did send me through some mental gymnastics as to whether or not that might be something that's going on. Now, I do have plenty of the symptoms for it, but I'm becoming more and more sure that either I don't have it or I do have it but am still gay or bi. I know that when I started saying to myself "I'm gay," there was confliction in my thoughts, but it wasn't based much on my feelings of attraction. It had almost everything to do with my fear of being labeled as gay and what it would mean for me in terms of my faith, family, friends, and other people that might interact with me. It was relieving to say it to myself, though, and saying it to other people, while quite nerve wracking, made me feel even better. That's especially true when I said it to my mom and she accepted it (at least says she does). It made me feel free. Anyhow, I hope your trip to Cancun goes well. I've never been there myself, but I know it's very international, especially in the touristy places, and should put you around people from lots of different places. Enjoy your time there and on this site!
Hi Milhouse, I was diagnosed with HOCD at the age of 13. In the end I (obviously) did turn out to be gay, but I'm still an OCD sufferer. You see, to be diagnosed with HOCD and turning out to be gay afterwards doesn't neccesarily means your were just in denial. Coming along with the idea of being gay as a teenager is already hard itself but OCD sure can makes it worse! Cheers.