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Greetings from the asexual side of the spectrum!

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by Ashen, Jun 13, 2013.

  1. Ashen

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    Hello everyone! I'm Ashen, and I'm an asexual, demiromantic, heteroromantic :slight_smile:

    I normally spend my time on the asexuality website (the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, or AVEN), but recently I was reading some posts of a homosexual ally (nd boyfriend of a homoromantic asexual. And thought that I should perhaps branch out into some LGBT forums and become an ally myself! (or at least, a member. Depending on if you look at if from a sexual-asexual ally standpoint, or a LGBTQA standpoint). So, here I am! I'm glad to give any advice and answer any question I can.
     
  2. Sr Francium

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    I don't care what you are... ok maybe a little but hello anyway
     
  3. Ashen

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    :lol: I know, but I kind of have a little grocery list of labels I've collected over the months (that was the short version!). And I just figured... umm, not sure but I introduced myself with that, perhaps because my whole reason for coming here was to try and be an ally. Nice to meet you and hello too!
     
  4. Sr Francium

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    I didn't really know there where any other lgbt related websites besides this one too... but that's besides the point
     
  5. unknown17050

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    Glad to know I am not the only Hetero Romantic Asexual on this site. :slight_smile:
     
  6. Ashen

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    Nope! Glad to meet you as well! If you're looking for other asexuals to talk to and you've only seen this site so far, I'd recommend you go take a look at AVEN, we have a huge community of other aces :slight_smile:
     
  7. unknown17050

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    I am aware of that site:icon_bigg ! I heard a story on there that sounded EXACTLY like my issue (well maybe a few things differently, she WAS a lesbian and thought she could but then realized she had more romantic intentions than sexual ones and it helped me realize my taste in women were more romantic than sexual).
     
  8. Ashen

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    Yes, I don't tend to feel much romantic attraction (hence the demiromantic label meaning I can only experience romantic attraction to those I have a strong emotional bond with), but I kind of... just stumbled across the word in the most hilarious fashion imaginable... with the random word button on urbandictonary.com :lol:
     
  9. unknown17050

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    :lol: Yeah, I myself always wanted to be loved by a woman though, especially on my internet crush currently. :icon_redf
     
  10. Ashen

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    As do I, hence my heteroromanticism. I've only ever really been romantically attracted to one person though, in my entire life.
     
  11. Candace

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    Welcome to EC! Nice to meet you :slight_smile:
     
  12. TimTomC

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    Welcome! We have a lot of Asexuals on this forum, and they are all welcome, I never thought of this sight as just an lgbt website, I think of it as an everyone sexuality wise welcome site. :slight_smile: So happy to have you!
     
  13. Ashen

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    Lindsey Stirling Avatar! Epicness :slight_smile:

    Sorry I just had to say it :lol:

    Anyway, thanks for the welcome you guys!
     
  14. TimTomC

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    I'm not sure im 100% clear on what Asexuality is, could you please explain, in a simple way for me. :slight_smile:
     
  15. unknown17050

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    It's one who experiences Sexual Attraction at a minimal or at all, meaning that if you look at someone you find attractive, you find some amount of Sexual attraction or sexual arousal and wish to want to have sex with that person. Asexual people tend to not feel that.
     
  16. Ashen

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    Essentially this, but asexuals can do practically everything a sexual can, except experience attraction. If you have any other questions about asexuality, I'd be glad to answer them .
     
  17. Milhouse

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    Hey Ashen, welcome to the site from another newbie who has been identifying as predominantly asexual for some time. :slight_smile:

    I'm still figuring myself out in terms of orientation, but the feelings of being sexually attracted to people are fairly new and not very intense for me. All of my teenage and early adult years up to this point have been spent feeling virtually no attraction to anyone. People would mention "those hot chicks or guys over there" and I'd look but feel nothing. So, I'd make a comment to sort of go along with it, but it was always really awkward, lol.

    I still guess I'm mostly asexual in that my drive is very limited and have had very little interest in having sex with anyone. As far as attraction goes, I am very sporadic and gender seems to not really play a role at all. There are certain physical or emotional characteristics of a person that will draw me in, but I can't even necessarily define what all those are.

    I discovered demiromantic asexuality a few weeks ago, and that seems to apply to me in some cases. I know I have a tendency to get extremely attached to people once we draw close. On the other hand, several of my 'crushes' were based almost entirely on looks, lol. All I know is I'm confused, but open to making the best of wherever life takes me.

    Welcome again. :slight_smile:
     
  18. Ashen

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    Thank you for the welcome Millhouse!

    I read your story, and while I can't tell you your orientation of course, have you ever heard of a label called gray asexuality (or gray sexuality)? It's basically a less known orientation that places you somewhere on the spectrum between sexual and asexual, demisexual is actually a form of it! Basically gray sexuals only experience sexual attraction very rarely, sporadically, or under specific circumstances. I of course don't know your situation, but I figured I should just offer my advice (aka 2 cents) for you :slight_smile:
     
  19. Milhouse

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    Gray asexuality? Now that I hadn't heard of. I took a quick browse, which yes, ended up on AVEN, lol, and am surprised I hadn't heard of it yet. I guess that's probably because it's referring to a general area of asexuality and not a specific kind of asexuality. I can see myself fitting in somewhere in that general gray area. Gray-A... has a nice sound to it.

    It's funny how many sexual and romantic orientation labels are out there; to think, I was oblivious to all but homo-, hetero-, and bi-sexuality only a few years ago. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Thanks for the tip. :slight_smile:
     
  20. Ashen

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    Yeah, there is a lot out there, I've picked up a small grocery list myself.

    No problem and hope I helped! :slight_smile: