I am a furry first and foremost (hence my nickname), and I believe that it was my discovering the fandom that had me start questioning my sexuality. Enough about that, though. I had always felt that I was different. I always had a feeling that I wasn't straight, but at the same time, was afraid to consider myself gay. For a good 5+ years, I sat in what I call "limbo"; always questioning my sexuality, trying to find stupid reasons why I couldn't call myself gay (I'm very masculine, and if you met me in person, you most likely wouldn't consider me gay at all, but I am very shy, and you probably wouldn't be able to determine what my sexuality was unless I told you, or you asked). I always thought I "should" be straight, but that's mostly because everyone around me (as far as I knew) was straight, and my parents were always teling people that "he'll get a girlfriend someday..." or "she seems to like you...", to which I would reply "I guess some day I will find someone...", all the while knowing that I felt that being straight was not who I really was, but I was too afraid to consider myself gay (though I consider myself gay now, I am still not 100% comfortable with my sexuality). About 3-4 months ago, I came out to my parents that I was gay, though it was them asking if I was gay or not that caused me to come out of my bubble and tell the truth about how I really felt about my sexuality. But here's the thing: I still seem to try to "prove" that I'm gay, to myself at least. I find that that is the way my mind works: it wants concrete answers, but answers about my sexuality aren't concrete (to me, anyways), and I feel that is why I was always seemed to question my sexuality, and still do. I do have a boyfriend, but still I question my sexuality. That's not because I secretly yearn to have a girlfriend or anything. I have no clue why my mind still feels the need to constantly prove how I really feel towards guys. I am a very nervous/shy guy, so maybe that is my issue. Maybe I just have to slowly get over my nervousness/shyness, and maybe then I will feel more comfortable w ith myself. I know my "story" may be a bit out of order, but I hope you can make sense of it. Also, is there anyone else that has/had a similar coming out story like mine? If you want to know more, just ask. I'll do my best to extrapolate on my story.
Welcome to EC :O) ---------- Post added 17th Jun 2013 at 10:54 AM ---------- Hmm, the clown nose was accidental cuz I was typing too fast, but heeey - it WORKS.
How would you be able to prove it toward yourself? Do you know how others do it? I'm not exactly sure what that would entail. It seems to me that maybe you mean you're a bit hesitant of accepting yourself fully? Maybe you're just not completely used to the idea? I sort of understand the relationship you have with your mind... I sometimes see it as a separate entity that needs to be satisfied. Or, maybe I'm totally off. In any case, welcome!
Hello Furry Rat- Sorry-my experience with coming out had been entirely different, so no advice to give. But I did want to welcome you to EC. You've come to the right place for help and support. --Zoe
Thanks for all the welcomes I guess with me, I'm okay with myself on the inside, but still have yet to be okay with myself on the outside (i.e. talking comfortably about my sexuality to others, and such). Every day, I think I get more comfortable with my sexuality, but with me being a shy/nervous/introverted guy, I still have a long way to go, but I have my bf and you guys to support me, so thanks.
