Hello to all, I've been on this site for a few days, but have not had the time to post anything - or even to figure out how the site itself works. Anyways, now that I'm finally able to do something I seem to be lacking words (pretty strange as I seem to have written a bit until now...). Well, for a kick-off I guess I should say something about myself which isn't in my biography (and/or I should explain things which are unclear in my bio). I'm an Italian-American, and been living in Italy up until two years ago, when I moved to study in Ireland. At the moment, though, I just finished my second year of college on the green rainy island and am back on the boot for summer vacation. Next year will hopefully be moving to Canada or the US (have my heart set on Canada) so I can follow a Master's program and then a PhD one. And, since any degree obtained outside the EU is not recognized in Italy, I'm guessing Canada or the US (please Canada, it's so much cheaper!) will be my new permanent residence. Ok, good start, and now for why I'm here. I've always grown up in small closed communities with very rigid ideas about what was normal and what wasn't. It was very easy to be considered the outsider among that crowd...So when I began discovering I had more than a simple interest in friendship towards girls. Anyways, for a long time I thought I had an interest in guys as well, but even after a few partners I can't really digest the idea of the male genital organ (no offence to male genital organs). Ever since I started going to school in Ireland I've been introduced to a somewhat more open environment, and I've found it easier to talk to people up to a certain extent, but I still have doubts about myself. I like guys, don't get me wrong, but the idea of kissing one is not that inviting, and whenever I found myself in an intimate situation with one I simply wouldn't feel that it was right. I'm beginning to believe I have been brought to like them because of the atmosphere I grew up in: ie, liking guys=normal, liking girls=strange=to be isolated. Is it possible that the fear to be completely ostracized leads you to adopt certain behaviors to an extent that your mind becomes convinced that what you pretend to be is who you really are? In hopes that I didn't sound too confusing, Sonic out
Well, it seems like you have a bright future! Welcome to EC. And as for your question, I think that sounds very possible.
Hi Sonic-- What a great introduction. This is a great place to come if you have questions and need advice and support. I'm glad you found us. Welcome to EC- Zoe
Welcome to EC. I think it is possible to have society push you into liking dudes when you don't really like them. Mostly I agree because I feel that is what happened to me. I never considered the idea that I may be sexually attracted to women until a few months ago.
