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Newbie here: Bi Mom of transgender M to F child

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by HippieWitchMama, Jun 22, 2013.

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  1. HippieWitchMama

    HippieWitchMama
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    Hello everyone! I have been searching for a safe, supportive forum for dealing with my emotions in regards to my 18 year old child who identifies and lives now as female. I love, support accept my daughter fully. Unfortunately that does not mean that I understand everything nor have I dealt with my inner emotions. I am sometimes confused and often worried about her safety and the emotional health of her two younger sisters aged 5 and 7. Are there any other family members of transgender individuals here?

    P.S. I identify as bisexual myself.
     
    #1 HippieWitchMama, Jun 22, 2013
  2. LD579

    LD579
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    Hello, and welcome. You may wish to repost this query to another section of the site ("Family, Friends, and Relationships", or "Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Support"), so you'd be more apt to receive appropriate and helpful responses.

    For what it's worth, I think the emotional health of your two younger daughters isn't at harm at all. It's nice to hear that you're supportive and willing to learn so that you can best support your 18-year-old daughter =)
     
    #2 LD579, Jun 22, 2013
  3. HippieWitchMama

    HippieWitchMama
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    Luthan, Thanks for the tip! I am using my smartphone so I am trying to figure out how to repost this to the other area you suggested.
     
    #3 HippieWitchMama, Jun 22, 2013
  4. StefaniW

    StefaniW Guest

    Hi :slight_smile:

    First let me tell you you are awesome to be sooo supportive <3

    Second, you sound a lot like my own mom. She has worries abbout my safety and feels like my own little siblings wil have a hard time adjusting.

    Let me just say, yes. There are very real concerns in this world for a transgender person. There is a lot of hate out there and she needs to be really careful. That being said, we have come a long way as a society in our acceptance of transpeople especially people of our generation. There is still a looong long way to go but if your daughter is careful (especially in terms of relationships and even more so if she likes boys) and doesn't draw do too much attention to herself I believe she will be fine. The dangers of what one will do to themself if they remain repressed are very real as well, so remember that.

    As for her siblings like I told my mom they will adjust. Kids get used to things fast and at that age they will probably just grow up thinking of her as a big sister. It may be hard to explain to them but they will come to understand and accept this in time, I promise you.

    You sound like a great person and a real diamond in the rough of parents of trans kids <3
     
    #4 StefaniW, Jun 22, 2013
  5. biggayguy

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    #5 biggayguy, Jun 22, 2013
  6. Candace

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    Hello and welcome to EC! :slight_smile:
     
    #6 Candace, Jun 22, 2013
  7. HippieWitchMama

    HippieWitchMama
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    Thank you everyone for your acceptance and support. I tried PFLAG but the closest group is more than two hours away from us. I have information coming from a local LGBT group but there is not much around here for the "T" portion of the community. I look forward to learning more and will encourage her to join the forum as well!
     
    #7 HippieWitchMama, Jun 22, 2013
  8. StefaniW

    StefaniW Guest

    Yes! Do tell her to join, it's such a kind accepting place <3
     
    #8 StefaniW, Jun 22, 2013
  9. BradThePug

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    Hello and Welcome to EC!! You are an awesome mom!
     
    #9 BradThePug, Jun 22, 2013
  10. SpitfireXSoarin

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    Hello and welcome to the forum ^_^. I hope you and your daughter find what you are looking for here.
     
    #10 SpitfireXSoarin, Jun 22, 2013
  11. phoenixverde

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    Welcome to EC.

    One thing I thought I would mention. Your daughter may not feel like she can open up and be herself on here if she is afraid of posting questions she feels awkward talking to you about. Not that you are not an awesome Mom for being so supportive, because you absolutely rock.

    She may feel more comfortable joining if you make a deal to never read a thread she post. Just so she feels like she has some privacy, but you can still get the support you need in this.
     
    #11 phoenixverde, Jun 22, 2013
  12. HippieWitchMama

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    I will be sure to mention that to her, but from the content of some of our conversations I doubt it would be much of an issue.
     
    #12 HippieWitchMama, Jun 22, 2013
  13. phoenixverde

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    Awesome. It is great she can be so open with you.

    I didn't mean to offend if I did, I am sorry.

    I have worked with a lot of teenagers and it seems the all want more privacy.
     
    #13 phoenixverde, Jun 22, 2013
  14. HippieWitchMama

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    I checked with her and we laughed and she said it won't be an issue. I do very much appreciate your suggestion though because it was something that could have been a problem. Also she can reserve the right to ask me not to read anything at any time and I will respect her wishes.
     
    #14 HippieWitchMama, Jun 22, 2013
  15. phoenixverde

    phoenixverde
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    Oh awesome.

    It is a really awesome thing that you are so open and free with your daughter. I only hope that my kids feel like they can be that open for me.
     
    #15 phoenixverde, Jun 22, 2013
  16. HippieWitchMama

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    I hope so too. I know I cannot talk to my Mom about some things and I am sure there are some things M to cannot tell me. That's ok. But I am glad we can talk about the important stuff. The first step is being open and honest with your child. Once in a while I have the need to tell M that something is not appropriate to share with my daughter. She respects that.is mutual respect and honesty builds trust.
     
    #16 HippieWitchMama, Jun 23, 2013
  17. phoenixverde

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    At a certain age I want to offer my kids a deal. Tell me about something that is happening and I won't punish you for it. They will have to deal with the consequences of what they are telling me about and I will help them decide how to handle it.
     
    #17 phoenixverde, Jun 23, 2013
  18. Dublin Boy

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    Hi :welcome: to EC :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:
     
    #18 Dublin Boy, Jun 25, 2013
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