Hi everyone, I stumbled upon this website one night when I was really drunk at home and looking for ways to explore my sexuality and become more accepting of it. I have known that I'm gay for 2 years now, and it has been the worst 2 years of my life. The only person that knows I'm gay is my psychologist who I have been seeing for probably 4 years now. Luckily, he's gay too so he helps me a lot. God knows where i'd be without him. He told me that I need to connect with other gay people more to get a better feel for what its like to be gay. At the moment I feel stuck between knowing that I'm gay and not being able to accept it. I live in a very tightknit Jewish community in Sydney Australia but I don't think this will hinder my coming out process. It just means that a whole lot of people will know that i'm gay when I eventually come out, but that's alright. The only people I care about knowing are my best friends and my family. My group of friends are the cause of a lot of anxiety for me because they are all alpha males, mostly close-minded and I feel very pressured by them. They call me gay all the time as a joke, sometimes I don't mind it but a lot of the time it hurts me because I'm just emotionally vulnerable anyway. I think one or two of them might know about my sexuality but most have no idea. I have a twin brother who is apart of this friendship group, but we have a terrible relationship. We barely talk at all at home and its always been like this. I also barely speak to my family too, and this is what pains me the most. I never feel like talking to anyone about my feelings or just anything at all, and isolate myself from my friends. This process of acceptance is taking so long and I can't bare having such bad relationships with the people I love. I hope that using this forum will help me accept my sexuality so I can just get on with my life, because it feels like my life has stopped for the last few years. :bang:
Hey, welcome! How are you bud? This is actually a really good place to chat to people and stuff, especially if you don't know many/any other gay people in real life. I have a couple of gay friends and I know that having them around me and watching them come out definitely gave me the courage to do so. So if you want a gay friend - I'll be it Haha. Your friends might surprise you. I know gay friends who have a lot of very blokey friends and they have no issue with it. If they care about you, then they'll be there for you no matter what. In fact, even if they were closed minded before, knowing you might change their views on things. And if they don't support it then they shouldn't be in your life anyway, in my opinion. When you're ready to come out and be honest with yourself and everyone, then you might be ready to make a whole new bunch of friends too that have similar interests so you don't have to feel so isolated. I imagine you feel quite lonely and like no one understands. But you aren't alone. There are always people here Any time you need a chat, feel free to message me if you'd like. x x x
