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Anal Sex by JayHew

Although many gay people expect to indulge in anal sex and find the idea appealing, it is not a requirement. Many committed couples do not engage in it at all. For those who wish to enjoy it as a part of their sexual experience, the information here will hopefully be helpful.


Anal sex carries a high risk of infection with HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. I will give more information on this in another "sticky" on sexually transmitted diseases soon.

Whenever indulging in anal sex, it is ESSENTIAL to practice safe sex. Always use a good quality condom and plenty of water based lubricant. Other lubricants can damage condoms, causing them to split. If you think the condom has split or is damaged, withdraw immediately and replace it.

Being Clean

Most are concerned with being clean. The best method for achieving this is as follows: Warm water, soap, washcloth and towel. Wet the washcloth and soap it up, wash the area between the butt cheeks and up against the anus, but no need to scrub hard or vigorously, but a good lathering and wash, rinse, dry with towel and that is it. Use of enemas is not necessary or recommended.

The best way to make sure the rectum is clear of fecal matter is to learn to have good bowel habits and when you feel you have to take a dump, do so. Once you have a bowel movement, the rectum is usually clear. Use of enemas can stimulate things all the more and cause the rectum to fill with fecal material. So as much as possible, get a habit of moving the bowels at least once a day and with some it will be up to three times a day. It may not be perfect every time, but it is better than causing further problems with doing other things.

A New Sensation

Prior to engaging in anal intercourse, the person being penetrated (especially the first time) needs to know they will feel “full” and that they will have a feeling of wanting to take a dump. As long as you know that something is being placed there that you want there, you can overcome this sensation and no you will not take a dump on your partner. Given some time to get use to the sensations, it will become more pleasurable and the thrusting will not cause further problems.

Alternatives To Anal Sex

Even if actually anal intercourse is not going to take place, rimming is considered a pleasurable experience. This is where your partner uses his tongue to lavish stimulation to your anus and surrounding area. It is a great way of adding to the whole pleasure experience. The tongue is used to stroke and poke around the anus and surrounding area. Making sure the anal area is clean is really quite imperative.

Another stimulating activity prior to anal intercourse is butt play with fingers. Your partner can rub, poke and prod around the anus and surrounding area. Use of lube is very helpful. Stimulating around the anus a lot while putting pressure on the sides of it help prior to any insertion of the finger(s) into the rectum. Eventually you can add more lube and insert a finger and over time another, until up to three can be inserted without discomfort. Take your time.

Getting Prepared

Prior to any penetration, prepare the area with lots of lube and use fingers to push lube into the anal canal. Go slow.

When actual penetration takes place, both you and your partner need to go slow. The biggest problem is the person inserting the penis is far to aggressive and in a hurry. You have to take your time. The receptive individual needs to relax the outer sphincter as much as possible and when penetration begins, bear down slightly like you were going to take a dump and it will relax the inner sphincter and make penetration less discomforting. Clamping things down will make it an unpleasant experience. Both partners need to take their time and move along when it is comfortable for the person who is the bottom. It may require slow short insertions, resting for a bit, then more, resting, etc. until all the penis is inserted.

Resting until there is comfort with the penis being inserted is needed. The feeling of “fullness” will diminish some but will not go away fully, but there is a certain comfort level that can be achieved. Once that happens, thrusting can take place and pleasure experienced.

After activity, things will close up as always, but it certainly is nice to have your partner get a washcloth and clean things up a bit for you before the end of session.

Not much to it really, but doing things in a slow and proper manner will bring a lot more pleasure. Overall, even if the first time, the experience should not be painful at all, some slight discomfort yes, but never painful. If so, stop everything and start over.

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