This thread refers to my last post http://emptyclosets.com/forum/chit-chat/182460-you-into-feminine-guys.html Hey guys, I apologize to anybody I've offended. I didn't really realize I was hurting your feelings or identity. I kind of stereotyped and questioned your true self. I didn't want to. I guess it's just the ways it is... some people like acting more feminine, some more masculine, no matter the gender. But after all, you should take the fact I'm not a native speaker under consideration and that it doesn't sound as bad as it actually is to me. Once more, I'm sorry!
Uh, nononono, it's not you. It's just that it's a pretty pervasive problem, in the LGBT community. Unfortunately, every so often, you find some gay guys who can turn "belligerent transphobia" into an artform, and they are pretty annoying, even to non-fems. You stumbled upon a trigger topic, and those things can be like land-mines. There is good reason for it being a trigger-topic, but I'm kind of sorry you got caught in the blast.
Honestly, I did find it poorly worded. However, I was able to understand your intent, which made it not that offensive.
I was rather upset and posted something I felt made me sound like a rude asshole so I took it down immediately after. I realized that what you had said was worded poorly and so yea...it's ok though I mean yea it's totally fine
Personally, I thought it was a little agitating that people in that thread repeatedly voiced the same bit of sensitivity as another. You had no intentions on offending anyone, and I think you could have used more tact with the post; but I think people beat it into the ground on the idea that your post was disgusting and offensive when it wasn't anything like that. I say this because there are more posts directed by your correlation with gender identity and sexuality than the point of the thread itself. Of course, your post seemed as if it really were making generalizations - so I understand how other people felt; I didn't agree with how they acted towards it. Actually; your question was quite legitimate.... It irked me how some people only paid attention to the details and hidden meanings... especially when they didn't give you any advice to do better. **** In any case; it tooks balls to make this thread. You have another ounce of my respect.
It seemed like a pretty normal thread to me. You could have used better words, but it was pretty obvious that offending was not your intention, and you made that clear. They shouldn't have been so hard on you. Before someone counter-attacks, I understand that saying: "I don't mean to offend" does not mean you can say whatever you'd like, but he didn't directly bash anyone, so ganging up on him like that was not cool. It's clear that some people just looked at the title and the others' replies, and didn't bother analyzing the whole post. Don't feel bad.
I missed the thread, and as a transfeminine person, I'm really glad I did. I just want to say two things at this juncture. One is that I think it's very cool that you apologized. A lot of people say hurtful things and then fail to apologize. That sets you apart from other people, in a good way. The other is that I would urge people not to hang too much on "I don't mean to offend anyone." Having missed the thread, I can't judge whether or not his statement was sincere. I am going to assume it was, which again sets him apart in a positive way from the people who say the exact same thing in other threads, and they were clearly not sincere. Intentions are not magic. Just because you didn't mean to hurt someone's feelings doesn't mean you didn't. All it means is that when we are engaging with the person, we should do so compassionately and in good faith. Either way, the person still should make an effort to educate themselves and to listen.
