Should I Come Out to My Parents Before Our Family Vacation?

I think you should not feel pressured to do so. If you think before the trip is the right time, and you feel atleast comfortable with the idea, then go for it! If you still believe it is not the correct time, or that maybe you feel you need some more time to test the waters, then take the time you need for that. I know most of us here will tell you something similar, or not, but it all comes down to how you feel.

 

It's tough to say. I mean, the obvious answer is you should do what you feel is best, but I know you are really here for some advice/guidance.

There's some pros and cons. Coming out before the trip might give them time to get used to the idea (about a month) and by the time you leave, they might not even care that much. On the other hand, they might want to talk about it a ton on the trip if you do tell them prior to it.

If you wait to come out until after the trip, you might be miserable because of their constant "are you gay" hints/questions and just want to get it out. You might end up just telling them while on your trip out of frustration which could be awkward. But maybe they won't even say anything on the trip and you can easily tell them afterwards.

Have you asked your sister for advice? I mean, she knows your parents more than we do. Maybe see if she thinks you should tell them now or wait.

 

I read your other thread and it's obvious that your parents know. And honestly, it seems like this is a way for you stall for another 2 months.

It's your choice, obviously, but I think you should just get it over with. Especially if coming out to them is inevitable by the end of the summer anyway.

 

I voted yes. Reasons:

1. You plan to come out by the end of summer.
2. From your other posts, I'm guessing they've guessed you're gay.
3. Having this hang over your head could ruin your enjoyment of the vacation.​

But...remember in the end it's your decision when the time is right.

PS: No matter what you do, you've made good progress in the time you've been here on EC!

 

Are they still pressing you and leading you? If so it seems like you might just take the opportunity to confirm it to them, so you don't need to start a heavy conversation on your own. It really seems like they know but they probably don't want to fully accept it until you say it yourself. What kind of reaction do you anticipate when you tell them? I'm a bit cowardly and if it were me and I expected a negative reaction I'd probably wait until I knew I'd be leaving soon and not stuffed in a car or plane having to deal with the uncomfortable atmosphere. But it also sounds like in your case it's already uncomfortable so it's hard to say for certain what is right. If you anticipate a positive or neutral reaction it seems like you might as well just go ahead and confirm it, however. And if they're just going to keep pressing you until you tell them, the only way to get them to stop is to come right out with it.

 

Remember how you felt when you came out to your Sister and how you felt when you very nearly came out to your Mom? You seemed to be on cloud nine for those few days.

If you remember, I asked if you would lose some of that momentum by waiting. So what do you think? Do you think it would be better now you still have the momentum (even though there may be some repercussions) or would it be better to bide your time with two more months of questions and comments?

The biggest question of all though, is how are you feeling about this? What will you be like if you push yourself to wait for another two months. As far as I'm concerned, this is about you and how you feel - you are the most important person in all of this.

 

If you come out now, you and your parents have a month to get used to it and you can go and enjoy your holiday without any further worries about breaking the news to them.

If you wait, you'll probably stress about breaking the news to them for your whole holiday... And by the sound of it so will your parents...

You're the only one that can really decide when you are ready and in the end it's something you need to be comfortable with.

 

One thing that is fun is discussing cute guys with my sister. It really has brought us closer, LOL!

 

I wish I had a sister to talk about that stuff. I just have an older brother, and I doubt he'd be up for discussing what guys are cute!

 

Fun huh?

I think you have all the courage you need. It just makes itself present when you realize how good things can be "on the other side" and how relieved you will feel from being free of all the anxiety you are enduring now...it's a question of balance, more anxiety or: to hell with it, this is going to happen today!