Coming out advice

Don't start with a label, start by telling her how you feel about other guys and girls, that you are pretty sure because you have felt this way for a while and it isn't changing, and that you want to be honest about it to her because you will need her love and support in some of the tough situations which may lie ahead because you are different from most other kids.

 

Notice, this is from a guy who hasn't come out to his parents.

My "plan" for when the time comes is to go like this...

me - Hey mom, you want me to be happy right, regardless if the person i fall in love with is someone you yourself might like or dislike?

mom - yeah son, whatever floats yer boat, as long as yer happy go for it. *fistbump*

me - cool *fistbump*

Basically, start by "reminding" her that she should care (above everything else) about your happiness and it shouldn't matter who you are with, as long as you're happy.

This is the foundation on which you'll be building up... and damn those glasses look nice on you.

Next you go like this - "i think i sort of like boys" (or something, don't label yourself and don't say it like with a 100% certainty). Ease her up into it...

Then make a point to tell her that things shouldn't change, since you are still the same person. The sneaky thing to do here is to not actually tell her this but to "tell" her in the form of a request/question, like this: "mom, this doesn't have to change anything between us, does it? because i don't want it to *puppy dog eyes*?

Then go and find a boyfriend. (i'm not taken btw )

Also, after you drop the "bomb" don't start forcing the discussion about this, just leave things as they are... After your mom has processed this she will ask you stuff (if she has questions) but don't try to rush things... Your only job is to:

1. make sure she confirms that your happiness is the most important thing here.
2. tell her about yourself.
3. assure her nothing will change.

Helps if you avoid unnecessarily making the "atmosphere" tens... just sit with her over tea or whatever and casually begin the conversation. If she is tense and expects "bad" news then she will react corresponding way.

 

I always think it's a good idea to plan ahead, think about some of the questions you might be asked and prepare your answers. You need to demonstrate that it's not a 'phase', but something you have really considered carefully. You don't want to come out and be faced with a load of questions that you can't really answer. Be prepared for some silly questions too, but don't show annoyance with any, no matter how silly. If you end up getting stressed out the whole tone of the conversation could take a bad turn.

I always remind people that this is a big thing you are telling your parents and it can catch them completely off guard. Some parents are awesome and don't flinch, but for others it really does knock them sideways and they just react in the moment. So if their initial reaction is not be great, be patient - it's not like you are giving them time to prepare in advance and gather themselves together for your big announcement.

When you come out have the website address for PFLAG to hand. It may come in useful.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.