I went to my first LGBTQA support group today. It was scary at first, but I felt comfortable around people who I knew could relate. The only problem is that I'm not super assertive so others in the group (one in specific) took up all the time. I would like to have more attention to help me work through things or feel understood, but between being kinda passive and feeling quite vulnerable I don't know if it's gonna happen soon. Anyway, it was good as a "mini coming out."
A "mini coming out" is still a brave thing to do. It takes a while to get comfortable with a new group. I'm a big fan of support groups as they are a safe place to explore your issues. Best of luck with your journey of self discovery. (*hug*)
I have to agree a mini coming out is still coming out so Congrats !! I think once you go to a few meetings you will find that you are more at ease and maybe even start talking to the group. I would not worry about it just yet you just started the group so take it slow if you want to no body is going to beat you up for it . I for one applaud you for doing it I don't have the nerve to go to a group I am going to a therapist just me and him for right now . S good luck and hang in there you will do it !
Hi Curtis Congratulations for going to the support group and your mini coming out. I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed on TV adverts especially for women’s cosmetics some sort of money back guarantee is offered if you don’t like the product or it doesn’t work after a few months. I recall reading somewhere there is a scientific reason for this sort of money back offer and that reason is that if you do something regularly for a few months it becomes habit forming and part of your life and therefore the cosmetics industry didn’t risk too much on this offer process. I decided I would adopt the same approach to my support group and give it a good chance of working by going for at least 12 weeks even though I felt nervous about it and might not like it. I described my first visit in this post. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/2199002-post13.html After going each week for the last 3 months I have lost much of the shame I felt in being gay and it’s helped me tremendously. At my support group newcomers are given a yellow coloured name badge, as opposed to white, so everyone knows who’s new. After my first week I made a point each meeting to go chat with the new guys, to me it seemed easier than talking to the more experienced guys because we were both new and of course now after 12 weeks I’m becoming more experienced and one of the regulars. I used a discussion about this website to help break the ice. Check out the second half of the following post to see how I’ve changed over the last 3 months. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/lgbt-later-life/157742-sick-tired.html#post2362839 SGG
Don't worry about being reticent; you went, which is important. You learn more by listening than talking anyway.
Thanks guys. I really appreciate your encouragement and validation. Part of my hesitancy to talk is because I'm still getting used to the lingo and culture. I was raised to be very judgmental, so I'm still learning to speak differently since I feel different. Like using proper pronouns.
