Fear of regret holding me back (MtF)

I'm terrified of coming out as trans and transitioning and then realizing that I had made a mistake, and had thrown away my chances at a normal relationship, my chances at having my own kids, and my relationship with my parents.

This fear is so visceral to me that it stops me from opening up to even my closest friends in my fairly accepting community. I've wanted to be female my whole life, but something about that step is just paralyzing. I guess I'm still holding on to the hope that I can repress this and just be normal. I want it to be a phase. I'd much rather be a cis male than a trans female... but I really really really want to be a cis female...