To you, from me, on coming out.

Hello, ECers.

Coming out isn't easy, but few things in life that are good for you are easy as breathing. Coming out is no different. The first bit of advice is to make sure you're talking to someone you trust. If you think that coming out will in any way endanger you, then don't. That is my least favorite advice to give, though it's the only advice I have on that matter. Your safety will always be number one.

If you're more comfortable talking to your friends first about it, or even an acquaintance that you are comfortable with, by all means, go for it. Sometimes the people who we aren't terribly close to are the best people to practice on. Don't feel guilty because you're more comfortable coming out to some people rather than others. If you're not ready to be fully out, then so be it. Talk to who you are comfortable with first, get your support group going. Even if you and your family are the closest thing in the world but you don't feel comfortable telling them, don't feel guilty. Thats normal. I haven't taken a poll, but I'm pretty sure that most people come out to friends first.

Do it in a way that you are comfortable. Wether it's over the phone, at dinner, at the bar, on the phone, just do it.

Sometimes, people in our life aren't as accepting. My father is homophobic. However, I don't believe it would be fair to my future partner to have them lie to my father about the nature of our relationship.

Coming out to a homophobe or someone who is fairly un-knoweldgable about the LGBT+ culture is a challenge in and of itself. If you're with me on this journey then here is my advice to you:

Don't come out defensively. Not in an argument, not to prove point, and not out of spite or anger. Odds of you getting a positive result, or one that isn't fully negative, is probably slimmer if you are hostile. Not that your hostility isn't justified, when someone questions your life style and it's someone that you respect it's definitely understandable. However, my fear is that their heart may not be as open to hear you if you are angry when you say what is on your mind.

Do come out privately. Wether it's one on one or with someone else there to bodyguard you, try to not give the other person the chance to make a huge scene.

Always have a back-up plan. By that I mean, come out at a restaurant where you have a friend nearby who can pick you up incase you're left. Something along those lines.

One more thing that you can do, wether the reaction is positive, negative or neutral, is just have hope. Have hope that this loved ones love for you will change their opinion. Don't give up on them. They may be intolerant, but they also are probably unknowledgeable.

Personally, my father said many ugly things to me in the past. I haven't come out to him yet, the timing just hasn't been right. But i have hope that his love for me will help him see that he's been wrong his whole life.