Very serious thread about anal intercourse

Hi DanA,

Don't be embarrassed and take deep long breaths

(I apologize in advance if I made my respond too graphic for anyone on EC. Please understand the content below is for educational purposes.)
To answer your question about self exploration I recommend first using your fingers. Location - During shower. Get your entire body wet with warm water (it may help you relax or you may want to turn on some music as well if you don't want others to notice your long shower) and do what you typically do when you shower except do these additional things.
- Wash your anal area and slowly massage your butt cheeks (circular motion). This will relax your muscles. At your own pace slowly spread out your legs and continue exploring your anal area (you may find yourself aroused and have other sensitive area to touch, in that case proceed with your own natural instincts)
- If you have Lube (water base is recommended, I am not sure why) if not you can always use soap to grease your fingers. Try using one finger first and do it slowly (You may feel awkward and at times you may feel as if you are pushing your feces backwards. To reduce that feeling you may want to take a number two before shower if you can).
- Biggest thing to remember here is to relax and take your time. Enjoy your long shower because you deserved it and at any point if you feel unbearable pain stop.
- IN ADVANCE NOTE - If you find yourself interested in using a toy, remember to wash it, read the manual (if there's one) and remember to take it easy. If you were to bled afterwards do not picnic. It may mean you did not have enough lube or simply you broke a tissue (It will recover with time).

CLEANING POOP - Consider using a douche. It feels a little bit awkward using it the first the time and it never feels completely "empty" to me.

Toy Wise - I say go to your local sex store. Usually the staff are pretty friendly and will have better qualification in assisting you. My first toy was a douche and a dildo together (talk about the bang for your buck!). I bought it b.c it looked cool and only found out how multi-functional it is later on (lol).

 

I second water-based lubricant, although I have not tried silicon-based. Oil- or petroleum-based is a complete no-no to the point that it's not even available (causes condom-breakage) or not intended for that purpose (Vaseline is an ointment).

I would also like to say start small. I picked up a flexible 6" (15 cm) dildo for myself with 3.25" (8.5 cm) circumference. What you do is begin with patience. If you can't get it in, try later. If it hurts, relax more. If it still hurts, lubricate more. I find that it helps to push as if I am passing. Basically, don't rush the thing.

As far as residual fecal matter goes, you might try to maintain a good diet high in fiber for complete, dry stools, as well as relaxing rather than pushing during bowel movements. That will keep you cleaner overall.

 

Let me try to explain the pain:

Your butt is not used to you messing around with it. That's it! When you attempt to pry it open, your butt's natural reaction is, "wtf is this? Are you bent???"

Therefore, you have to sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with your butt. Pet it gently, and tell it how well it has served you over all of these years. Get it to relax and feel comfortable with you.

Here is a trick that nobody else will tell you, though: let the butt come to you. Instead of trying to shove your finger into your bum, let your bum open up its arms real wide and give your finger a big, warm hug. In other words, the muscle ought to relax on its own. You shouldn't have to force it. If you try to force it, the muscle is going to get mad at you and retaliate. Done correctly, it ought to happen without you having to put any force into it.

And that's how you go about shoving your finger up your butt.

 

We have all bee there so nothing to be embarrassed about

Make sure you are using lube and taking your time. Without lube then the experience is going to be very painful and uncomfortable. Oh, and make sure to clip your nails and wash your hands before you start.

Most people start by using their fingers with lube or by using small toys. Start with very basic stuff. Just lay down and get comfortable, and start playing with a finger. Don't rush things or think that it will be amazing the first time. Just explore the feelings. Jacking off while you do it can also help you relax a lot.

As a personal note, I don't really enjoy fingers at all for some reason so fingering myself doesn't feel good. If you can, I would recommend you to buy a very small toy to start with.

A shower is really all you need. You can use things like enemas, but it really isn't necessary as long as you don't have sex while having the need to poop.

There is an article about it on EC that can give you a way better and more detial answer than I can

Anything that isn't too big or intricate. Your best shot is to go to a adult store and ask the people there for tips about getting something for beginners. I know, sounds very awkward (and it can be), but they are ridcs helpful and they hear way more crazy stuff.

Water based lube is usually your all-purpose lube. Silicone based lubricant is safe to use with condoms, but is not safe to use with sex toys made out of silicone. You can use it if you use a condom with the sex toy, though (which makes it easier to clean)

I have never used it, but I have read that its harder to get out of clothes or sheets. I think its also more expensive.


It really does suck that they don't teach us the basics in sex class, but it really isn't too complicated once you learn the basics. You might want to check out an article on EC about anal sex that answers a lot of basic questions and its really easy to read.

 

I started out with an average sized dildo, then moved up to a large one. I was able to get myself to orgasm with no stimulation to my penis. It was pretty weird to see a limp penis shooting a load, but it felt so good. Anyhow the mess and smell are always a turn off so with my over 20 years of dealing with this I learned some things. There are two types of enemas, or douches, you can call them. A high enema will trigger your bowles to give up a large lengthy and smelly mess that could take hours before your body stops giving you urges to visit the bathroom. If you just want to clean your rear out to play with it, there is a little trick I learned.

With say a 2qt enema up at about shower heads length, on all fours, let the water flow for about 15 seconds then stop it. Sit on the toilet to expell what you just took in. Do this several times, and even stand up at one point and shake your hips hard left and right to loosen up any mess inside.

The trick in doing it this way is to not trigger your bodys natural reflex to expell everything in your colon. This would be very messy, you would never get a totally clean rear, and frequent visits to the bathroom for hours. So by just using about a cup to a cup and a half each time, you lesson your chance of triggering that mess.

You can even put a few teaspoons of castle soap in the enema bag so that your ass smells better, its a nice touch. You will want the bag full for each event because you need the gravity to make sure it starts flowing. Just be carful as most of the hooks they give you these days are weak plastic and the bag is to heavy and falls, so probably about 3/4 full is best.

Do this a few times, untill you notice that what your expelling is clear, then you know its a better time to play with your ass. I would always keep a towel under me at play, all times just in case there is any mess, it works good.

As far as lube, I know this sounds ghetto but I think that coco butter lotion is the best. The reason is that its very slippery and doesn't dry up, and it smells good, and its cheap. Store bought lubes will dry up, and will not always work as well. If you ever do enemas and start to get a stomach ach, its a good sign you triggered the body to expell more than planned. It just means your probably headed for a smelly mess and frequent visits to the bathroom.

Figureing out how much water you can take without triggering the mess, is a trick you will learn with time. Of course your goal is to get the water as high as you can without triggering the mess. I'm guessing its about 1 cup at a time.

All of this also depends on how deep you intend to play with your ass. I like to play very deep, so a large toy or 13" cock is my dream, but if your just playing with a regular sized toy or regular sized penis, you should have no problem figuring out how much water is needed.

 

I'm another one that is a little oblivious to how this all works and kinda feel like I wouldn't be comfortable with anything 'entering' that region (trying to put this politely as possible). I probably sound very naive, but I guess I'm only 19 and still not out to anybody.

It sounds like a huge task just to prepare for sex compared to vaginal sex and thinking about the cleaning and feces kinda puts me off the idea of having anal sex - I'm a complete hygiene freak. I mean, lets say I met somebody whilst out and we decided that we wanted to have sex (I know that's not ideal, but it happens), how could you know 100% that there isn't a bowel movement brewing or that everything is completely clean? It just all seems a little tedious, but I guess I'd probably get used to it.