Warning: This very long and most likely boring, I just wanted to put this all in one thread so I didn't have to make a gazillion threads. I don't think I would mind coming out to anyone, but I think most of the reason why I haven't is due to my family(mostly my parents) finding out. I live in a somewhat small town where things can get spread around, so it would take one slip up for everyone to know about it. I've only told two friends that I 100% trust and there might be 3 others I've consider telling, but that's about it. It's not that my friends are terrible people, it's just that I'm paranoid, I hope that doesn't make me sound shallow. So I feel like I have to tell my family first before I could start coming out to the rest of the world. So my family......they're interesting and sort of a melting pot of beliefs. I view myself as Christian, but not traditional. I'm not really sure what sector I fall into nor do I think it really matters. I sort of joke with people saying I'm more of a "free-lance" Christian. My brother is the same as me, I guess, but is a lot more grounded. I'm pretty sure he supports gay rights, he's not to vocal, but I don't think he hates them. He does make derogatory marks sometimes, but that's probably due to him being a jock in high school. He also was pretty popular, he was Homecoming King his senior year and was a nominee for Prom King. Even though we're basic opposites, we've always got along, I think better than most brothers, probably due to him being only 16 months older than me. So I don't think he would care that I'm gay and I think he would be somewhat supportive. His wife is more of a traditional Christian, but she 100% supports gay rights and we get along very well.(Though she's a huge fan of Twilight >_>) The reason why I haven't told them is that I can't expect my brother to not tell his wife and bless her heart, but she's sort of a blabber mouth. xD Next is my sister, her husband, and her kids. My sister is actually my step-sister who's 10 years older than me, but I've know her my entire life, so never refer to her as "step". She practices Wicca, which is a modern pagan, witchcraft religion. I don't know much about it nor do I want to know, but it's her thing so yeah. She's 100% supports gay rights and she's pretty vocal about it, where she use to live, she was pretty involved with the gay community. I've haven't told her because she can't keep a secret to save her life. Her husband is a Freemason and is sort of wild card since I don't know much about him. I've heard Freemasons don't support homosexuality, but at the same, he married my sister and she has the reins on him pretty tight, if you know what I mean. Her kids(they're her kids from her first marriage) are 10,13, and 14. The 14 year old lives with my sister's ex-husband's grandmother(it's very complicated) and he's Lutheran. I think he wouldn't care, but I don't know honestly. The other two live with my sister and they have said they are Christians, but my sister has also taught them to accept gays so they won't have a problem with that. Finally, my parents, the ones I fear the most. They both are Christians, my dad was raised strictly as one and mom was too, but her parents are very strict at all. My mom also dabbled in witchcraft when she was married to her first husband, who btw, is a satanist; I'm seriously not making any of this up. Once my mom married my dad, she stopped with that and became a Christian. My dad's thoughts on gays and gay rights is very unclear. He doesn't really talk about it, but he most likely doesn't support it. Even though I pretend things are alright between us, I have a lot of built up anger towards him, it has nothing to do with me being gay, let's just say he's has emotionally hurt me in the past. I actually made thread about my mom which explains a lot about her. To summarize, even though she has had gay friends in the past, my godfather which she picked is gay, and her ex-husband is bi, she thinks being gay is a choice and that they shouldn't be allowed to marry.(She's also a big Elton John fan ) I strongly feel she wouldn't be very supportive. The weird thing is, I have a feeling that they know I'm gay, but they haven't questioned me about it. The reason why I haven't told them is that I still live with them and if they kicked me out, I wouldn't have a place to go. I don't think they would kick me out, but it's a possibility. If I had a place to go or if I wasn't living with them, I probably would of already told them. I don't really have a extended family. My grandparents have passed away and I only have one aunt and uncle on my mom's side. I'm somewhat close to them, but I only see them two or three times a year, so what they would think wouldn't affect me. My mom's side of the family probably wouldn't be supportive, but I'm not really close them anyway. My dad's side is sort of weird since we hardly talk to his mother's side and his father's side has cut all ties to him due to something involving my great grandfather, the reason is pretty stupid. So yeah, to summarize I wouldn't have a problem with telling anyone I'm gay if my parents knew, but I'm just really scared to tell them and my family has a bunch of different religious beliefs. It really all does come back to my parents. I don't know if anyone has any advice and I don't know if when I'll tell them, it could be today, tomorrow, next week, or next year, but I think the sooner the better. If you actually read all of that, then major props to you, I don't think I would. xD Thanks in advance for all the advice and the replies.
I read all that. Perhaps you should put the summary at the start Anyway! It's said a lot that it's best if you're financially independent if you worry about the scenario at home. If you're independent. What can really go wrong? If they're going to react poorly, that's probably not going to change within a couple of years. What I'm trying to say is that,
Yeah sorry, this probably wasn't the best thought out thread, I really shouldn't post these at 5 in the morning. xD That's it, I feel like I'm in limbo with telling them or not, so I think it's best to not tell them right now, I think that's the safer option.
I find someone telling me their secrets a precious gift and who is deserving of your gift and will appreciate it should determine who to tell. I know we all want to be accepted by our parents and family but it is their loss. To gauge reaction look for do they accept who you are or are they always trying to get you involved in something that doesn’t fit you. Do they know what you care about and notice when you are upset and need a hug or just are wrapped up in their world. Someone knowing you are most likely gay and coming out as gay is very different. Coming out they are forced to deal with something they may not want to deal with at the time. The witchcraft angle has to do with not fitting into mainstream society. I have known gays that belonged to witchcraft before coming out and would expect them to be accepting but with people you get surprised a lot. My brother’s wife told my mom he was gay but was going to stay married to him. She was closer to my mom than me but the first thing my mom did was take her out of her will. My sister in law didn't see that one coming. But my mother who held her will over our heads for many years dyed penniless.
