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Did anyone here come out...casually?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Amerigo, Jun 18, 2013.

?

Did you come out casually?

  1. No, I came out with a BANG (or I plan to)

    6 vote(s)
    22.2%

  2. Yep, I came out like it aint no thang (or I plan to)

    13 vote(s)
    48.1%

  3. I haven't come out yet, in fact, I shouldn't even be voting in this poll

    10 vote(s)
    37.0%

  4. I'm on the right track baby cos I was born to be gay (:

    3 vote(s)
    11.1%
Multiple votes are allowed.
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  1. Amerigo

    Amerigo
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    Rather than one big dramatic I'M A GAY MAN NOW. G.A.Y. cosiwasbornthiswaybaby

    I don't plan on coming out like that - confessing to people, as though my "hidden" sexuality is "scandalous". I plan on it being casual, like, yeah I'm gay, get over it. I've liked girls, but you know, life is weird like that.
    My ultimate plan would be to come back from Italy with a beautiful Italian boyfriend and be like - yeah, and what, what r u gon do bout it. I found a special someone, that special someone, is a boy...
    ...And then we'd flee to Argentina and live happily ever after...

    Have you come out like that? Without sitting the parents down as though you're delivering bad news?
    Is it harmful not to brace them for the impact, i.e., to come out casually?

    THOUGHTS?

    ---------- Post added 18th Jun 2013 at 06:02 PM ----------

    At least, I think I'm gay...

    hmmm
     
    #1 Amerigo, Jun 18, 2013
  2. Bobbybobby99

    Bobbybobby99 Guest

    AHHHHH! Today's my coming out day. That is off topic, but I am freaking out.
     
    #2 Bobbybobby99, Jun 18, 2013
  3. Amerigo

    Amerigo
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    omg! Good luck! Keep calm! I'm freaking out I don't even know why. Let me know how it goes!!! :newcolor: (*hug*)
     
    #3 Amerigo, Jun 18, 2013
  4. Linthras

    Linthras Guest

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    I don't really come out anymore, if people ask I'll answer.
    But the three times I have come out, 2 were rather casual.

    First time:
    Was walking with my best friend and we were talking about relationships and such, I just casually mentioned that I could fall in love with anyone as long as they're positive caring and inquisitive.

    Second time:
    Talking with some female friends, we were talking about a brother of one of them who's gay, as well as card set that friend had gotten which was basically pictures of naked muscular men holding life-sized poker cards.
    The girls were saying how they weren't really into those extremely muscular guys, to which I replied: neither am I.:icon_wink
    After which they asked me if I was gay and I explained 'not exactly'.

    Third time:
    I had ordered some LGBT clothes and buttons, and was unwrapping them in the living room. My parents just happened to walk in when I was folding a t-shirt that said "The person's heart is more important than what's between their legs". So they asked what that meant and I explained it was a pro-LGBT t-shirt. Which led them to ask why I was so involved with LGBT stuff, so I told them I'm bisexual (pan- and demisexual are virtually unknown terms here).
     
    #4 Linthras, Jun 18, 2013
  5. biggayguy

    biggayguy
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    Is writing a letter casual? That was the way I came out to my parents. It was easier than direct confrontation.
     
    #5 biggayguy, Jun 18, 2013
  6. Randy

    Randy
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    Out Status:
    Some people
    I did it while on a drive to Target just my brother & I. I feel so relieved now, in fact, I posted my story earlier this morning like at 1:00 my time.
     
    #6 Randy, Jun 18, 2013
  7. Amerigo

    Amerigo
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    You have my r.e.s.p.e.c.t. I like the way you just let it slide. I dislike the whole in your face approach to coming out, it should be treated like "that other little thing you didn't know about your friend, which you know now" :slight_smile:. I think unpacking those LGBT supplies is a really good way of finding out what your parents think of it all. I know they wouldn't think twice if I was campaigning against the fur trade or human trafficking or whatnot, but LGBT issues would surely catch their attention.

    I guess so :icon_bigg, I always considered writing THE letter (I'm better at writing than I am at speech). I also think it's easier to sink in that if I was to say it to their faces. I'd always wonder what their immediate reactions would be...reading those words...while I'm in the other room...

    You brave soul! I read your thread :eusa_clap
     
    #7 Amerigo, Jun 18, 2013
  8. catoptriclenses

    catoptriclenses
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Not with my parents, but with almost everyone else I basically came out by means of saying "you know that chick Ashley? We are dating." Then most of the time they're like oh, you're gay and I'm just like yup. Or if they ask if I have a boyfriend I'll be like no I'm gay or i have a girlfriend. Parents are a different story though.

    Usually if I don't act like it's a big deal then no one else does either.

    I changed the name to protect identity.
     
    #8 catoptriclenses, Jun 18, 2013
  9. Linthras

    Linthras Guest

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    Well I did struggle internally, for a while, about my orientation. Not about accepting it, but more about just what the fuck I actually was. I knew I wasn't straight and I knew I wasn't gay, very confusing.
    But I've never honestly struggled with not being straight.
    And I agree with you, coming out should not have to be such a big deal.
    In fact, imo, you shouldn't have to come out explicitly at all. You should just be yourself and if you happen to start dating someone from the same sex, everyone will figure it out and those that are true friends won't mind one bit.
    Like it says in my profile, if people ask I'll tell, but I see no reason to come out to every/anyone. Unless I'm in a relationship or interested (in which case it would be obvious), I see no reason to discuss my sexual orientation.
     
    #9 Linthras, Jun 18, 2013
  10. Amerigo

    Amerigo
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    hmm interesting...very. I see how telling the parents is a whole different story, especially in my household where marriage and family seem to be priorities. ugh. the downside of having a large and closely knit family...I like that - "yup, I'm gay" :slight_smile:.

    Identity is safe here, unless the US government is listening :thumbsup:
     
    #10 Amerigo, Jun 18, 2013
  11. Linthras

    Linthras Guest

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    Yep parents usually is unique situation, especially if you still live with them.
    Also:
    [​IMG]
     
    #11 Linthras, Jun 18, 2013
  12. Amerigo

    Amerigo
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    I don't know what I am either, definitely not fully straight for sure, though. For that reason, I think I'm going to head down that route you outlined (bold). Sure, sexuality (and it's many variants) should be spoken about in a respectful manner and when appropriate, but I think it's our own personal business!

    ---------- Post added 18th Jun 2013 at 08:38 PM ----------

    ^^ looooooool @ that pic :grin:
     
    #12 Amerigo, Jun 18, 2013
  13. evora

    evora
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    :icon_mrgr:lol:


    About my coming out...I'm not even sure if it counts. My mother still thinks I'm trying to shock her.:dry:
    I think she will be one of those people who, when I have a girlfriend, will still be insisting it's my girlfriend who's gay and not me.:lol:
     
    #13 evora, Jun 18, 2013
  14. Amerigo

    Amerigo
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    I read your story, such a shame your mother didn't believe you :rolle:. Hahah hopefully she realise before then! :icon_wink
     
    #14 Amerigo, Jun 18, 2013
  15. biggayguy

    biggayguy
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    I practiced on some other people before coming out to my parents. It started out casual with them. I think I asked how the felt about Pride parades or gay marriage. I was trying to gauge how they felt about gay people. Then I just Took a deep breath, swallowed and said "um...well... uh, I have some to tell you. I'm bisexual." I'm so glad they responded well when I said that. It was a huge weight off my shoulders.
     
    #15 biggayguy, Jun 18, 2013
  16. Amerigo

    Amerigo
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    That's a good method, what I worry about is if they turn around and say something I don't want to hear, like they despise gays etc.! :icon_redf

    :newcolor:
     
    #16 Amerigo, Jun 18, 2013
  17. biggayguy

    biggayguy
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    If they had said something like that I would have said that they might feel differently if they knew a gay person. It would also indicate that I should just drop the topic. They're not ready to hear that news.
     
    #17 biggayguy, Jun 18, 2013
  18. Maddy

    Maddy
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    I've only ever come out casually.
     
    #18 Maddy, Jun 18, 2013
  19. thedreamwatch

    thedreamwatch Guest

    "hey mom?"

    "yeah?"

    "I think I might be/probably am really gay"

    "okay. that's probably going to suck telling your boyfriend."

    so, yeah no huge deal. the exception being the aforementioned boyfriend.
     
    #19 thedreamwatch, Jun 18, 2013
  20. UndercoverGypsy

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    Yay! GO BOBBY GO!
     
    #20 UndercoverGypsy, Jun 18, 2013
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