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I came out yesterday to my parents..(coming out story)

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by ross96, Jul 25, 2013.

  1. ross96

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Spain
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Family only
    Hey I'm new here, so I just wanted to share my coming out story and how I feel a day after.I'm 17 years old from Eastern Europe, living in Spain.So yesterday I woke up in the morning, and decided to come out, first I wrote a coming out letter to my parents ,where I explain them everything, and I made crêpes .I asked my mom at what time she'd be home from work, so I could know when to leave the house.. so I left the letter next to the crêpes in the kitchen, and I went out to walk my dog for a whole hour or I don't even know how much time I spent walking my dog, so she texted me to come home,and I was feeling really nervous,scared,weird a bunch of mixed emotions, and I finally decided to go home and face everything, so when I got home, she first asked me if it's a joke, I said no, and then she started asking me questions like " How do you know it? How long have you felt this way? How long were you deciding to tell us? ..." And stuff like that, I began to cry from the nerves , I just couldn't believe that I did it, she later said that she's still proud of me , and that she wants me to be happy, and what I do in my personal life its personal , it won't change how she feels for me and that she's supportive, she said I'm her child of course she'll accept me and hugged me and kissed me, but then she said some weird stuff ( I don't blame her) she is just curious and she's not clear with the facts or stuff about LGBT people , she told me it might be just a phase, I told her I'm sure that I'm gay, she also told me about how I'm not going to have children, I had to explain to her the ways of gay people having normal families just like everybody else, and she said how can I be gay if I don't have all those manners that feminine guys have, and I told her it's just stereotypes, she said she doesn't want me to hide anything, to be open and share if I like someone, etc, she also suggested I might be bisexual ( I'm 100% sure I'm gay) I've never been with anyone but I know how I feel about it, and she wants to know how do I know it if I never tried anything.. I think she and my dad are going trough a mini denial phase but I completely understand that and I'm happy about that they accepted it so well, so then me and my mom told my sister (5 years older than me) she said ok, it's normal , I don't have to worry about nothing, then at night me and my sister went to a bar to have a drink, and later on the bus she started asking me similar questions that my mom asked me ... ( they are just curious and quite surprised this is a new thing to them..) and she said she always wanted to talk to me about (girls/boys) whatever I asked her if I should tell my classmates,my cousin , to change my fb status, she told me I don't have to because it's a personal thing , and that she doesn't want people's opinion to affect me in a negative way or to make me feel bad , that I don't owe explanations to anyone , that it's my life and they'll know it sooner or later, that it will come out as parading and no one likes that.. I don't know what to think about this, but I wasn't going to change my facebook status anyway, I just want to let people know , I don't know why... Then when we came home , my mom had told my dad , and he came to my room and he started talking , that everything is fine, that he wants me to be happy , that they're proud of me and that that's why they work so hard (for us) , that I don't have to hide, to live my life , to experience things to go out and have fun, really positive things, he said when I have a bf to bring him home so they can meet him , which is nice, but there is also the mini denial thing that I talked about, he said it might be just hormones and asked the same questions as my mom and my sister.. that I might get over it, but if it's not that it's okay , and I don't have to care about others opinions ,and to let them affect me in a bad way.
    I love them so much for that, and I'm happy that they are so accepting, which is not common from people who are from Eastern Europe.. they are very close minded and opinionated and have weird views about that so I was surprised about their reaction. The thing is is it normal that after coming out, I don't feel completely at ease? I feel really weird and I don't know a little bit guilty , I'm going through a bunch of emotions right now and it's really confusing , I'm happy that they accepted it but sad that I might have disappointed them even that they said they weren't I don't know why I still fear it and feel this way.. I just wondered if this happened to you after coming out. I also dislike the awkwardness, and answering that kind of questions, and for some reason I can't look them in the eyes, I also asked them in the letter to not treat me differently , because I'm still the same. So I wanted to share my story with people who will understand me and maybe give me some advive I don't know if the thread belongs in the right section.. :smilewave :slight_smile: I'm sorry if there's any mistakes or spelling errors, English is not my first language. :icon_bigg
     
  2. Holly

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    This is exactly how my parents reacted when I came out to them this morning! Although my dad was actually far more accepting that 'this is it' compared to my mum. My dad really surprised me, I thought he either really wouldn't care and therefore not talk to me about it, or not understand. Instead he just hugged me and told me I hadn't changed. I was rather shocked. We had a big hug :3

    I'm glad things went well! :slight_smile:

    You can see my thread (which is rather similar to yours, here)