I wrote previously about coming out to the first guy in my fraternity. Well every semester we host a retreat for our upcoming members (pledges), and part of that is an activity to build trust between their group (their pledge class). The activity basically has the pledges share an important secret with the group, and by having everyone share something very deep, it builds your trust for one another. In order to show them how it's done, a brother will usually share one of their own with the group first. Well, my fraternity brother (the one who I already told) said the brother that usually shares his secret couldn't make it. I thought to myself, what the hell I'll do it. I told him that I'll share my secret with the group, and he asked me if I was sure I was comfortable with doing that. I reassured him, even though I wasn't sure at all. At this retreat there were the upcoming members and some current brothers (about 4). Two, including the one who already knew, were from my own pledge class (the group I was initiated with). As a symbol of respect, I pulled the other guy from my pledge class apart from the group and warned him about what I was going to say, as well as actually flat out told him. He was completely ok and comfortable with the fact that I was bisexual. By the time I was about to talk to the group, I was an emotional wreck. I was fighting with myself on whether or not I should actually go through with it or if I should chicken out. Both of my pledge class brothers (who both know by this point) saw how emotionally effected I was and pulled me aside. They said that I don't have to, but I told them that I needed to do it. So in front of about 20 guys, many of which I've known for less than 7 weeks, I poured out the fact that I was in fact at least a bisexual and a specific situation regarding that which has haunted my life for the past five years. It was very, very emotional but honestly the fact that both of my pledge brothers were on either side of me, comforting me and supporting me helped me at least get the story across. After I was done, I looked up at everyone expecting to get at least a few looks of disdain or possibly people upset with what I had said. Instead literally everyone in the room was visibly moved as well as supportive of me. I talked to the other 2 brothers that were there and they were both glad that they were able to share in this experience, as well as both said that if I needed anything they would be there for me. I was very relieved and excited about this so I had to share. And if anything, this just reinforced my decision to join the fraternity that I did. Even though I go to a school in Indiana (not the most tolerant state) and joined a fraternity, the guys are extremely supportive and genuine True Gentlemen.
That is so amazing and so happy for you. You took a really big step and you should be super proud of yourself. Way to go man.
I appreciate the support! i talked to one of the guys that was there and that I was close with, and I apologized for having not told him earlier. He said that there was absolutely no reason for me to apologize, and he did for having made comments that he thought could be derogatory as well as said that it didn't matter whatever happened and he'd have my back regardless. It basically made my night!
