Okay so for those who haven't read my first tread, I came out to my family last week and they were all very accepting about it. The problem is that since I came out nobody has said anything about it at all. My mother recently said, he was very stressed because of what he said last Sunday to my sister, they both knew what they were talking about but it feels like they are evading the subject. The thing is that they are not evading the subject because THEY are uncomfortable with it, they are evading it because they think that I don't like it myself or something because I am always kinda closed to my family about personal stuff. But I really want to make jokes about it myself and just make it something that is not awkward in the family because it shouldn't! I know I shouldn't complain because a lot of people have parents who don't accept it at all but it just feels like every time we get near the subject my mother tries to change the course of the conversation and I just want to make clear to them that it is not a problem for me! Does anybody here maybe has a suggestion about a comment I could make to joke about it myself? I have such a nice family and everyone is super open to each other but I feel like this is something they don't know how to handle (which I understand) and it just feels weird. I totally understand if someone thinks this is nothing compared to their family problems that came along with their coming out but it is big for me.
Your family probably understands how difficult it was for you to come out to them in the first place and may think it's still going to be something that you're uncomfortable talking about. I suggest giving them some time to adapt and just continue to be yourself. I'm sure once you get a boyfriend they'll probably be more open to discussing that part of your life. I know that if I ever force myself out I don't want that to be a common topic for my parents; it's not something that defines me and I don't think it's something I'll really want to talk about with them. I definitely wouldn't want it to be a taboo subject or something that either of us are ashamed of, but I don't think it should be on their mind all the time. Congrats again on coming out! It will take a little bit of time to establish a "new normal," but it's definitely worth it.
Coming out always worth it and in your case, it was the perfect scenatrio for everyone. Your family was supportive and it's normal that they can't handdle it. I wish I were in your position, like my thread (http://emptyclosets.com/forum/famil...not-so-well-planned-but-still-valid-work.html) says, it's difficult to come out to anyone specially to the ones you like the most. Don't make jokes or anything, act like yourself. Be normal, talk about your crushes, your thoughts... It pisses me off that people don't get that gays ARE NOT different. We love, we feel, we like same stuff. You have a great family, take advantage of it man. (y)
I used to think that it was just a matter of time before it became easier to talk about it with those who love you, that it was part of the process of acceptance, but I have seen a couple of instances where this does not change over time. Part of the reason is because it is personal, part of it is unfamiliarity, or not having really thought through the implications..."gay" is such a tiny little word for such a big and important thing. Big and scary mysterious things are hard for those who don't understand what it means, many would rather not come to terms with it, and many don't; they simply refuse to verbalize the feelings they have, or, they want to avoid a fight with you because they do not really know themselves what is bothering them. There is nothing wrong with wanting to avoid a fight, God knows, we have enough of that. This means that you either have to have a deep conversation about how you feel (which we in the western world do very badly, especially for guys) or you will have to bring home a boyfriend (this latter option is far more direct, shocking even...and rather more pleasant...)
I guess it is true but I just want them to know that I have zero problems with being gay. I am one of the few people that would make the choice to be gay if they had it. Life just seems so much more fun if you are just a bit different And with the current developments in gay acceptation and gay rights I feel that I was born in just the right time.
For what it's worth, my parents haven't really brought it up since I came out last weekend, but they rarely talked or asked about anything relationship-wise when I was "straight." I think they'll be fine once I actually start dating and (hopefully) have a boyfriend for them to meet, but it's just one of those things that I think they just feel isn't any of their business to bring up. I their case, I don't think they were ever super comfortable talking about sex, so that element of sexuality behind it means I'm not really surprised they haven't really brought it up themselves. And realistically, things are pretty much normal with them, so I don't think they are actively pussy-footing around anything. But I think that comfort level will eventually come, and I think it partially depends on how you relate to you family. I tend to have a fairly dry, sarcastic sense of humour, so one of my friends (who has a gay sister and thus has a higher-than-average comfort level with cracking gay jokes) was making jokes about how "the gays" were ruining everything literally 10 minutes after I came out to her. So perhaps it just takes more time to work out where those boundaries are for some people than others. And perhaps with parents it might take more than a week or so
I will just wait for it then I just don't want it to be a taboo that is all but I think they will stop evading the subject once I start dating but that might take some time hahaha
