I don't want to be gay anymore...among other things.

You seem to be a lot more interested in the status "relationship" than anything else in your life. Honestly, don't rush. That's my first advice because when time comes, everything will be alright, and even though it seems stupid, it is the reality. I wish I could have someone to be with, to cuddle, to kiss, to have sex, to talk everytime, to hug and do everything. But sometimes it is impossible, sir.

We can't just tell life what we want and expect like a magic lamp to have it answered right away. Time is the real Lord on our lives and we should respect it, along with FATE.

Moving to the next subject, that is what made me answer your thread. You are very much alike with me, if you read my thread you'll understand (http://emptyclosets.com/forum/famil...not-so-well-planned-but-still-valid-work.html). That's because I am also not into gayer stuff, I don't like to dress like them, I don't like dance clubs... I like straight stuff and I like my own lifestyle, I like being who I am, although I am alone and very mad right now.

Respect yourself man, you're only 18. You're better than what FATE has to offer you right now, so go on with your life, enjoy your friends and be outgoing with everyone. I am disapointed with my current status on the boy I like at my college, but SO WHAT? I can't force him to like me back, I can't be anything different than what I am.

We are gays, mister. We can't change it and we are going to like it, as soon as we realise that life has prepared very good things for us in the future. It's just a matter of respecting everyone else's time, and our time as well. Like my signature says, it's not what you make that decides what's gonna be, it's FATE.

And that's also not only something that you might hear anywhere around. I belive that everyone has a chance of being happy, just take it when it comes around.

 

I'm a bit curious as it looks as if you are attaching somewhat of a puristic element to your virginity. Is there a particular reason why you put so much importance on the fact that you lost it with your ex? Religion perhaps, or was your experience with him gone so bad that you've essentially made everything that's happened between you and him to be a bad/regrettable experience in your mind?

Personally I don't think so much emphasis should be put onto virginity. The only reason why people tend to care so much about it is either due to religious influences or because of the 'fear' and anticipations that comes with the first attempt at everything we do; it's awkward, both partners have that weird smile on their face saying "I'm not sure what I'm doing." or "Oh my god, that wasn't supposed to happen. Are you still breathing?"

I'm in the same situation as you here. I live pretty far away from my college (I travel for 4 hours every day to go to college and back home) so I'm really limited in my ability to actually go out and meet other gay guys while also taking care of all my workload and projects. I've still met a few in college, although I've been rather unlucky with them so far :dry: *ahem*. I don't consider myself as attractive at all too.

Forget about the "gay look" though, it's just a stereotype which doesn't apply to the vast majority of gays, not that there's anything wrong with gays that would fit the stereotype. It's just the inconvenient part of our sexuality where we have to be a bit more upfront about it. Hard when you have self-confidence or trust issues (as I do), but it can be worked on (as I've been doing since coming out). Ultimately, you have to take matters into your own hands and put yourself out there. If you keep focusing on the fact that you don't look "gay", you're just not going to get anywhere.

Stop conflating activities or preferences with gender identity or sexual orientation! Also, what's with that part I put in bold! Also, straight guys go to dance clubs too... xD


:lol:

 

You can't change that your gay. And on losing your virginity, you are human, you cared for him and it's done. On finding a relationship, well that takes time. I'm 26, and had a brief relationship. It didn't work. Now I moved on. You will find the right person with time. Nothing happens right away. Lighten up on yourself. Also, always use protection, I know you mentioned getting tested for stds. 5 minutes of sex ain't worth a lifetime of a disease. Never take a guy's word that they are std free....