I have this really big crush on this girl who previously admitted to me that she was bi, but I'm certain that she thinks I'm straight. She is my good friend, but in afraid even if she did reciprocate feelings, we wouldn't be able to be in a relationship because we're both closeted. She's well attractive (and I'm not just saying it) and always has a lot of guys who chase after her. I'm afraid of facing rejection and possibly losing a friend. How do I approach her with these feelings? Should I just ignore them if I'm technically still in the closet? If you need more info, please let me know!
From what you described, I a, not sure I see any reason not to have a quiet conversation with her and tell her how you feel.
You might consider just telling her you're bi (assuming you are sure about that) first. I think sometimes the double reveal of "not only am I bi, but I'm interested in you romantically" can be hard to take all in one dose, but as a good friend who has already trusted you enough to come out to you, I think also coming out to her could be a good thing for both of you. You could then wait a bit and see what happens with the crush stuff, and let that come out in time when you have a better read on things and she has also had time to adjust her view of you as someone who might even be a possibility for her. I'm far from an expert though, just an idea.
Thank you both for your comments, I appreciate them both. Assuming I muster up enough courage to come out to her, how would I do it? I've never done it before and I don't really know the best way to do it or anything, and I don't want to just tell her mid conversation like "oh yeah, I'm bi" Any advice?
Yeah, coming out to her first would definitely be a start. That's what I did when I was in a similar situation, as what usually follows is a conversation about sexuality, love, etc. It's also nice to be open with someone. The next time you happen to be alone, just mention something to do with the queer community, like a news story or gay marriage more generally etc. I found mentioning Alan Turing helped. If you aren't alone that often, try texting her saying something like "hey, I want to talk to you about something, could we meet [when] [where] to chat?" Make it within the following week so you won't back out. As to do with the crush part, how long has it been going on? If a while, you can safely say that it's a thing and that someone should know so that you can get it off your chest, preferably her. However see what she's like talking about lgbtq+ stuff first before you say anything. This is just from my own experience (http://emptyclosets.com/forum/family-friends-relationships/157847-usual-falling-good-friend.html), and seemed to work. I wish you the best of luck, and if you need any more help or just a chat, feel free to message me!
