As the title suggests, I have feelings for my roommate (whether being in love or having a crush or whatever is the right formulation, I don't know). It's kind of terrible. I don't want to tell her because I don't want our friendship to become awkward, but at the same time I can't stop myself from hoping that maybe she likes me too. She's a lesbian, so at least I know that she likes women. I recently came out to her, so she knows I like women, too. I don't know what to do. Telling her is just not an option but neither is doing nothing. I'm really unhappy about this. Even if I did know for sure that she's not interested it would be hard to move on because I see her everyday. I'm sure I'm not the first person in this situation, so if anyone has any advice, please let me know!
Have you thought about tasting the waters ? Maybe flirt subtly with her... or joke about something happening between you two and see how she reacts ? At least you don't have to deal with her being straight so that's already a big plus !
Going through the same thing now, and I empathise with you because it's not fun! I both came out to my (gay) ex-roommate and told her that I like her, all at the same time. It was incredibly emotional for me since she is the first person I've ever come out to, and she was amazing. I am certain she doesn't feel anything for me, and that is hard. But, even though I'm nervous about seeing her again now that she knows, I'm trying to convince myself to be ok with it. She's a good person and I know she cares about me, and she'd never make me feel bad about liking her. Think about how you'll feel if your roommate isn't interested, and weigh that up against how crap it feels to like her and not say anything. Despite feeling sad and slightly awkward that I told her, I'm glad I did because at least she knows now. I hope that's helpful - you can message me if you want to chat it out some more.
Thanks for your replies! @Linning good idea in theory, the problem is that as soon as I like someone I can't interpret their behaviour anymore. Whenever she says something nice to me I think that could be a sign for her liking me, although I would never think that about someone I don't like that way. I'm a bit stupid that way... Also, before I knew that she's a lesbian I sometimes thought that she was flirting with me a little bit. Now I think that maybe she used to be interested but isn't interested anymore, which sucks because back then I thought she was straight so I didn't react to her flirting (if she was flirting) because I didn't want to get hurt. @NewToThisWorld thanks for telling me about your situation. I just really don't want to tell her that I like her because in my experience it's always awkward when one friend likes the other romantically. I've been on both sides of that equation and always found it really uncomfortable. I don't think telling her would make me feel better. I've thought about telling a friend, so that I would have someone to talk to about this, but that would also mean coming out to that friend, because she's the only person I'm out to.
I had the biggest crush on my past roommate last year. oy... It was fun and not fun. I felt great for having those "feelings." My heart beating faster, wanting to do nice things, make my roommate happy, all the coupley lovely things... But then it hurt me to see that he was not into me... And whenever he would text his best friend all the time, he hurt me a lot... http://emptyclosets.com/forum/famil...166609-i-dont-know-if-my-roommate-bi-gay.html That is my post. I did tell him that I was an asexual who is a bi also. There is a term for it but I forgot... He was perfectly fine with it. We do not live together anymore, but he sends me texts sometimes. He also invited himself over for next week hahaha Anyway, I got side tracked! Um.. I think if you want to stop liking her, then maybe having a space might be a good idea. If she does not like you back, then it will hurt you a lot.
