Reading this old post I made back in november will give you all a better context http://emptyclosets.com/forum/family-friends-relationships/195637-confused-about-guy.html but basically, the guy in the said post played a sick and twisted game with my feelings. He manipulated me and used me and now I do feel like I am in some kind of grieving/despair phase. I can't even concentrate on work and school so much so it's just put me in a really dark place. He was quite candid about his manipulative game playing and he has disclosed to me about past history of sexual/or emotional abuse at the hands of a gay friend when he was 15, he's 20 now, and I strongly believe he views ALL gay men as abusers. I also have an inkling he was drawn to me and initiated contact as a revenge tactic but the weird thing is that I believe he expected me to initiate sex but when he saw how intensely romantically and emotionally charged I am instead of pursuing sex, I threw a wrench in his game plan. He has mentioned how he has a history of breaking up with people by getting them to dump him, he is scarily passive aggressive and has so many manipulative tricks up his sleeve it is not even funny, but the thing is that I instinctively see right through everything he does. I am intrinsically a very genuine person ,I care a whole lot about people and always try to do the best for them so I saw through all his tricks and was speaking to the hurt person inside and that FREAKED him out. So much so he decided to back away from me, telling me that he needs to "work" on himself and that I should just "wait and do nothing but trust that I will come back". I know that's a can of b.s and he has no intention to initiate anything with me. He is currently in a relationship with a girl but he says that I "understand" him more emotionally while she is physically attractive and not as emotionally aware of him. His closing message to me was written as if it was a break up letter when the ironic thing is that we were never in a relationship to begin with. He says that I get in his head and he can't concentrate on things in his life and when I asked him if the thoughts of me were good or bad, he has flip flopped, first calling me "toxic" and then saying his thoughts of me are "good". He is quite adept at gas lighting and the screwed up thing is that he is the FIRST guy, and person, I genuinely opened up to about my life and what I've been through, ie my own history of emotional abuse and other related things, and he has used those things, my triggers, against me. I have cut contact from him completely and I am going through my own healing process but I have this recurring fear in me where I feel like every other guy out there will turn out like him, and I just am nervous/afraid to open up. I feel like I just seem to draw in people like him and I don't understand why. I have made the decision to go to counselling and just work on my own issues but overall I feel this impacted my life in a big way. How do I move on from this? I still cling on the good and light hearted moments I had with him but I also now find that the bad outweighs the good but certain memories linger on :/
