I'm lucky enough to have never been subjected to homophobia. No-one in my family has any issue with it and my school is very strict about the no bullying rules. To put it briefly, homophobia is the minority, not homosexuality. Can someone please help me understand why, despite all of this, I still can't come out? I want to so badly, but every time I tell myself I will the doubt creeps back in- what if it's just a phase? What if it all goes wrong and you've misjudged these peoples opinions? What if everything changes? I've never even kissed a girl. The only time I kissed a guy it was awkward and foul. Shouldn't that in itself be enough to give me a sign? I've felt this way for about eight months now, and don't want to anymore. Advice please? :help:
Hi, Welcome to Empty Closets! For me, the last doubt was dispelled only by the act of coming out for the first time to someone I knew, and being accepted. Is there one person you know would be accepting? You say, "what if it's just a phase?" Well. What if it is? What would be the horrible thing that happens, if you confide your feelings in one person, and then they turn out not to last? Really, nothing would happen. So, why not tell a friend?
If you still have the doubt that "it's just a phase", then give time for yourself to acknowledge and fully accept your sexual orientation. Once you figure it out you will certainly feel better about yourself, and then you can come out with decisively. I also think it's about the homophobia that appears in the media (internet, TV, music, articles, books, etc) that could make you scared. That may make you feel that it's still a risk. Also, realizing that your sexual orientation is considered by a great majority of the world as "alternative" "different" "weird" or "uncommon" could make you feel it strange and unsafe too. But I think it's understandable. Coming out seems to be a quest for accept yourself and the consequences it'll have in your inmediate space.
I don't think homophobia is "the minority" as you put it, necessarily. There have been studies made that show it's much more common in America than we think. And I've lived overseas and let me tell you, in underdeveloped countries, homophobia and domestic violence aren't even viewed as wrong, it's just natural day-to-day life. You've just been lucky enough not to have experienced it in your own life. But it doesn't mean that it's uncommon.
I'm sorry, didn't mean to come off as naive. I know it is common, I simply meant for my area/school etc that it was the minority.
