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Really bad jokes(Either yours or from elsewhere)

Discussion in 'Fun and Games' started by Phoenix92, Aug 7, 2013.

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  1. Phoenix92

    Phoenix92
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    Don't know if any joke threads exist, but here we go on starting one.
    This thread is for sharing jokes, either jokes you've heard, read, or a comedian has said.

    EG:
    Jimmy Carr, to someone sitting in the front row:
    "Are you gay?" Person shakes head "Oh please, you're so far in the closet, you're having adventures in Narnia."

    Another example:
    Did you hear the one about the rope? Skip it.

    Now you know the rules, i turn the thread over to you, let the groaners comense
     
    #1 Phoenix92, Aug 7, 2013
  2. Dublin Boy

    Dublin Boy Guest

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    #2 Dublin Boy, Aug 7, 2013
  3. Phoenix92

    Phoenix92
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    Thank you, but this is for bad jokes in general....
     
    #3 Phoenix92, Aug 7, 2013
  4. SimpleMan

    SimpleMan
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    An eight walks into the doctor's office and says,

    "Doc, I've been feeling pretty crummy lately. I haven't had much energy, and I am not sleeping well."

    The doctor suddenly picks him up, and SLAMS him down on his side. Then the doctor asks, "How do you feel now?"

    He replies, "Actually doc... I feel infinitely better!"
     
    #4 SimpleMan, Aug 7, 2013
  5. Phoenix92

    Phoenix92
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    Q: What do you get when you cross the Queen and Prince Philip?

    A: killed in a tunnel.
     
    #5 Phoenix92, Aug 7, 2013
  6. KhanSaheb

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    I have a pretty sick sense of humor. I love this one. It reminds me of this one:

    Q: What did the queen give Fergie for her birthday?

    A: A Mercedes and a trip to Paris.
     
    #6 KhanSaheb, Aug 7, 2013
  7. Zam

    Zam
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    I got some HORRIBLE ones...

    What's the worst thing about eating vegetables?

    Putting them back in the wheelchair when you're done.


    "I used to be a sadistic necrophiliac with a penchant for bestiality, but I realized I was just beating a dead horse."
     
    #7 Zam, Aug 7, 2013
  8. justjade

    justjade
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    Did you hear the one about the iguana who couldn't get it up?

    He had e-reptile dysfunction! :lol:
     
    #8 justjade, Aug 7, 2013
  9. BuyTheStars

    BuyTheStars
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    Yo mamma's so stupid she thought melancholy was a fruit!
     
    #9 BuyTheStars, Aug 7, 2013
  10. justjade

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    Yo mama's so stupid, she failed a blood test.
     
    #10 justjade, Aug 7, 2013
  11. Oxelotl

    Oxelotl
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    If we're on bad princess Diana Jokes
    Jimmy Carr (king of morbid jokes(
    The world was shaken when Diana died, and all London got was a shitty fountain. Still better than Paris all they got was a slow down sign.

    And Another (also Jimmy Carr)
    Years after the Chernobyl accident and am I the only one that's disappointed? Still no superheroes.

    And of course
    Broken Pencils are pointless.
     
    #11 Oxelotl, Aug 7, 2013
  12. letzdance109

    letzdance109 Guest

    My friend told me this one when we were bored in the library one day!

    What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

    Virgin Mobile! :roflmao:
     
    #12 letzdance109, Aug 8, 2013
  13. Azrael

    Azrael
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    At least she doesn't have a doesn't have a melancholy fruit.... :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
    #13 Azrael, Aug 8, 2013
  14. Batman is swag

    Batman is swag
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    I went in to a general store.

    They couldn't get me anything in particular.
     
    #14 Batman is swag, Aug 8, 2013
  15. mainy

    mainy
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    knock knock?
    who's there?
    Doctor!
    Doctor who?
    Yes!
     
    #15 mainy, Aug 8, 2013
  16. Phoenix92

    Phoenix92
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    Why don't they let blind people go skydiving, it'd scare the crap out of the dogs.

    ---------- Post added 8th Aug 2013 at 09:20 PM ----------

    Q: How do we know what shampoo princess diana used?
    A: Because her head and shoulders was found all over the dash board.
     
    #16 Phoenix92, Aug 8, 2013
  17. mickey1101

    mickey1101
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    Why did Timmy fall of the tree?
    Person: why?
    Because Timmy was dead...

    Why couldn't Sally swing on the swings?
    Person: why?
    Sally had no arms.

    Knock knock
    Who's there
    Not Sally

    ...don't mind my twisted since of humor
     
    #17 mickey1101, Aug 8, 2013
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