Hi, I'm Jenny (or at least, that's the name I'm considering using). I just made an account here this evening, and I posted this in the welcome thread earlier, but figured it'd make more sense to post here. I'm a college student, about to graduate, and until around this year I figured I was just your typical straight guy. But I've been doing a lot of self reflection and I think I may be transgendered. Like, when I was younger, around middle school and high school, I used to dress and act very androgynously (is that even a word...?) and I always loved feeling feminine, or when someone mistook me for a girl. I used to wear makeup and feminine clothes/accessories too, but I pretty much stopped at the end of high school. Back then, I didn't know anything about the LGBT community (you can blame Alabama for that), and I always figured I was just a weird kid, but now that I've been around more LGBT people and have become more educated about the community as a whole, I've realized that I may be trans. It's not like the feelings stopped after high school either, I just stopped outwardly trying to be effeminate, but I still often daydream about being a woman and imagine myself with breasts and makeup and clean-shaven skin and all that. My holdup about really mentioning it to anyone is that I'm not sure if I really am trans. I mean, sometimes I feel like it's just a silly phase or fantasy that I'll get over, but I really don't know. It's not like I'm one of those trans girls who immediately know when they're like 6 years old. But I suppose a lot of LGBT folks had a lot of doubts when they were first questioning themselves, so I'm hoping to figure out stuff over this next year or so. Dag, that was quite the textwall, sorry about that
Well, I answered your Welcome post, but I can answer this one too. Not all transpeople know when they're at a super young age, so don't worry about that. I had feelings when I was 5, but I didn't know till I was 19. As long as you're experiencing this now, that's all that matters. A phase is something that lasts a few years. Everyone will think it's a phase at first, which is normal, but if the feelings you have now are growing and not letting up, then I don't think it's a phase. Now, how would you feel if someone started to use female pronouns when referring to you instead of male? Also...this might be ever so slightly personal, but how do you feel about your downstairs area? Do you wish you had female parts there instead? Now you don't need raging dysphoria, to be transgender. Dysphoria is different for everyone, and everyone experiences it in different strengths. But do you have any discomfort with your body? I know it's kind of redundant to ask, because you've already said that you daydream about being a woman; but I'm just trying to get a feel for what you're experiencing as of now. Personally though, you sound pretty transgender to me.
Thanks for the responses~ I think I'd like if people used female pronouns and stuff. Like back in the day when I was more androgynous looking, it always made me happy when I got mistaken for a girl. I think the weird part would be people I've known for a long time who always knew me as a male having to suddenly start referring to me as someone else. But like, I always would fantasize about various moments growing up, or just everyday life, but if I'd been born a girl and how those moments would all play out and stuff. But too bad that couldn't happen As for the nether regions, I dunno. I was never one of those guys who worship their cockn'bawls like some kind of sacred shrine and are obsessed with size and stuff. I'm just kind of neutral about having it, though if I was going to transition, I think I'd probably want to get bottom surgery at some point at least. I've always been kinda bleh about my body. I'm not exactly an attractive male, much less an attractive woman. But one thing that I loved about being androgynous and wearing nail polish and makeup and little lacy gloves is that it always made me feel pretty.
I say you should go back to your androgynous days, and wear things that make you feel pretty and feminine just as an experiment to start. This could even just be alone in your house, and see how it makes you feel now. If you still feel pretty and it boosts your confidence then start to do that girl! Experimenting is a huge part in finding your true gender identity. So find some girl clothes, wear nail polish/make-up, shave, do whatever it takes to make you feel girly and you'll soon find out what works and doesn't work for you.
You and I are in the same boat, I even had/have my own thread in which I've made similar points to you. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/112339-what-am-i-whats-going-my-head-just-general-guidance.html But personally I feel I may be coming to more of a setteled understanding now, but to talk less about me it may be a good thing for you to less consider the quesiton "am i a boy or a girl?" or variations on such and ask "what do you need to be truly happy and content?" that its no considering other people or feasability just ask in a completely unaffected way by outside elements what it is that you need to be happy and content? Do you require breasts? than you should get breasts. Do you need to be reffered to with female prnouns? Than ask that to be the case. Do you want to dress more femininn? Than dress mroe feminine. At the end of the day this isn't about your fears, worries, anxieties, fmaily, friends, shcool, work or anything. All that you need to consider is what makes you happy?, what makes you content? and what do you need to do so? Simple no?
Well, I decided to start trying to look more androgynous and see how it turns out. Shaved off my facial hair last night, and today I went to Walmart and got some pairs of tights, some women's underwear, and a couple nice pairs of women's shoes. And I gotta say, it feels really nice (even if it'll take me forever to learn to walk in heels ). Haven't worn anything out of my room yet, save for the bikini and tights that are under my jeans, but I kinda want to try and find some skirts and more effeminate tops. Any tips on stores to check out?
That's a great start! As for stores, I don't think there's any specific place you need to go (Unless I'm wrong...I'm FtM so I don't know where MtFs shop ^^. As long as you are comfortable with purchasing woman's clothing at places then go for it. And if you're not comfortable, or you think they'll say something, just say you're picking it up for your sister or girlfriend. But I highly doubt the cashier will say anything though.
Well, I went out to JC Penney tonight and got myself a pretty top and some undergarments. It was a little disconcerting looking through the racks cause I kept feeling like everyone would be staring at me, but the cashier didn't even mention anything, just rang me up like normal. Only regret is not finding a cute skirt Oh, and I came out to a friend tonight! We're pretty close, and he's gay, so I knew he'd be supportive, but it was still scary at first. But I feel a lot better after telling him! I think I may let some of my other friends know soon-ish.
Ooh congrats on the coming out! It's always nice to hear when you have someone close that will support you. As for the clothes that's great too. I know what you mean though, sometimes I feel like that when looking through men's stuff. :lol: But after a while you get used to it, and if you look like you're on a mission then no one will really care.
Wo thats amazing you jumped from being like me (totally hiding it and not prepared to express it even a litte) to full on coming out im so happy for you, unfortunately I don't know of any MtF shops that arent just normal shops that you go in and try not to be scared but Alternative clothing shops are usually less caring about who buys what and they are usually more expressive in design so you can buy rather feminine looking male clothes there.
