Hello. My name is Ed, and I'm 16, male, and from the UK. I think I may be trans. Here's why I think this. I often look at girls at my school and in public, and I feel jealous of the way that they look. I want to be look them, dress like them, and be like them. But here's the thing. Coming out to my family would not be easy. My family has been virtually torn apart due to my dad being trans. It has left us all feeling somewhat bereaved, as we do not really talk to him at all. Me, my two brothers (i'm the youngest) and my mum do not talk to or see him at all, however my sister still talks to and sees him occasionally. I personally cannot see him because I can still se my dad when I look at him, even though he is different. I am afraid that if I did this to my family, it would not help at all, and it would make life even harder for most of my family. However I am also afraid of the consequences on me what if I make a bad girl? What happens if I dislike the way I look? Thanks for reading. Any advice in regards to coming out to my family or in general would be appreciated :3
I would say just try to talk to your dad about it, if you can at all. I think you are fortunate to actually have someone in your family who is trans just like you.
I don't really think that I could talk to him about it because I hardly ever talk to him anyway, and when I do I don't feel very comfortable. Plus me talking to him about being trans out of the blue may seem a little odd to him.
Hey, I'm sorry you're in such a hard situation and it's so uncomfortable; coming out is never easy and you don't deserve this stress. I would definitely try to get in contact with your father; he would have a great idea of what you're going through and could be a great source of support. I would also try to get involved in LGBTQ organizations in your area; there are a lot of drop-in centers, I would just do a google search. I would try to avoid freaking yourself out. If your family loves you, they will come around. It may be a while, but they'll get there. Head up.
You might have a look at this: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/156584-am-i-actually.html#5 and this: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/156085-i-just-im-kind-scared.html#4 Transition usually works better if you are younger... You might think about seeing a gender therapist, or a counselor... I'd say take your time... ask if you have further questions... (*hug*)(*hug*)
Just because you haven't spoken much before doesn't mean you can't start. And bringing it up out of the blue will not seem odd to him. He'll understand. He should understand your situation completely. Because he's been there. He'll understand why he is the best person for you to talk to.
So... Your dad is a trans woman, correct? That's just a little unclear to me. Anyways, don't feel like you'd be hurting your family. If they don't accept you, then they're the ones hurting you. But just like Raven said, he's (she's?) been there. They'll understand,
Well... That really depends on what is most comfortable for you. But I would probably say something like... "I know this may sound strange, since we don't speak very much, but you are the only person I can talk to about this." And then explain your situation. I don't think it really matters how you word it though. Just say it in whatever way seems right to you.
Start by dropping the 'he'. I understand this is difficult for you, especially considering the role this person had in your life, but trust me, any contact will be incredibly strained if you refer to them as 'he'.
You might for example ask for the email adress from your sis... and you might write your thoughts down... but its your choice... but as Hexagon said... using female pronouns is most likely important to her... (*hug*)
You're only 16, imagine having to live the rest of your life as a guy (a loooong time) even though you're actually a girl. Sounds terrible to me. Ever since I was little I hated being male, and now I'm already 25 years old and still hate it, so don't think these thoughts will just go away when you grow up. Seriously, I hate it so much I feel like crying several times a week. Once in a while (usually during winter, so it's about time again) i can't take any more and have these terrible suicidal thoughts. You don't want this! So my advice: be egoistic just this once and do what you feel like doing, even if your family may not like it! Talk to your dad and ask him/her for help? Just tell him/her what you told us, or maybe send him/her a link to this thread? edit: on the other hand I'm not listening to my own advice, so maybe you shouldn't listen to me at all :icon_redf
Whoah..thanks everybody for your replies. I will try to write down something to send to him/her when I have the time. The reasoning call my dad my dad still is because who I live with (my mum and youngest older brother) still call them dad. We never stopped really.
I'm not a psychologist or sociologist (all I have is a minor in the latter discipline), but I'd like to make quick mention... I'm doing a research project for my Sociology of Sexuality class on transgenderism, and in my research I stumbled on something you might find instrumental. I'm not saying that it applies to you or that it doesn't, I just think it's something to take into consideration. Regardless of whether you discover that you are trans or not, re-establishing contact within your family would probably make everyone involved happier and better off
