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Trans and dont know how to come out to my family

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Leam T, Dec 10, 2014.

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  1. Leam T

    Leam T
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    Hey! Ok, so Im Leam, a trans from female to male. I am completely into the whole male thing and wearing 'boy clothes' and stuff, but i need serious help explaining to my mom that id rather be a male than female. im really scared because today when she asked what was in my arm (i had written stuff about me being trans and bi and stuff like LGBT pride) and she told me to go wash my arm immediately. i did, however make up a story about how my friends had written it on me and she somehow believed it. The only thing im really asking is how do i tell my mom? Im just really scared guys ;-; thanks.
     
    #1 Leam T, Dec 10, 2014
  2. Acm

    Acm Guest

    Is your mom homophobic/transphobic? If so you might want to wait until you're independent from her or at least make sure you have a safe place to go in case she doesn't take it well.
     
    #2 Acm, Dec 10, 2014
  3. Leam T

    Leam T
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    Im not sure. We never really get onto this subject so.. :/
     
    #3 Leam T, Dec 10, 2014
  4. Acm

    Acm Guest

    Maybe you could casually bring up something LGBT related, like something you saw in the news, to see what her reaction is.
     
    #4 Acm, Dec 10, 2014
  5. AnnoNemus

    AnnoNemus
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    Completely with Acm on this one. It sounds like she got upset by the meaning of what was written on your arm. If she is homophobic, things could get really bad for you if she finds out while you're still living in her house. There's nothing wrong with being cautious in this sort of situation. If you think she might take it poorly, not telling her is probably the best option. It may be a bitter pill to swallow, but if you can just endure it for a few more years, you'll be able to get out on your own. That being said, if you test the waters and it sounds like she wouldn't be too upset over it, by all means tell her.
     
    #5 AnnoNemus, Dec 10, 2014
  6. jay777

    jay777
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    You might have a look here:
    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/156085-i-just-im-kind-scared.html#4

    I'd say take your time...

    Just ask if you have more questions, people here will support you...

    You might communicate a bit with others on this website... for now you can chat via wall messages, after 14 days you can apply for full membership and use the chat and private messages...

    You might think about counseling... a gender therapist, someone from an lgbt center, or a counselor from school...
    there even might be support groups in your area...


    (*hug*)(*hug*)
     
    #6 jay777, Dec 11, 2014
  7. JustJJx

    JustJJx
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    We're all here for you, just remember to stay safe *hugs*
     
    #7 JustJJx, Dec 11, 2014
  8. Kasey

    Kasey
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    The whole "gently ask questions" to see where you're at is the way to go.

    I kind of knew where I stood and my parents eventually caught on to something. They sort of cornered me and how I came out wasn't exactly the best way to have and even though I'm out its not accepted yet at all.

    Perhaps "mom did you hear what they did to the gay kid at school? It's so awful" and see her reaction.
     
    #8 Kasey, Dec 11, 2014
  9. Leam T

    Leam T
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    Thank you all! I will definitely use these tips!
     
    #9 Leam T, Dec 11, 2014
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