Hi everyone, I know this seems like a strange topic... but I shift from feeling more feminine (which is great since I'm a curvy female, physically speaking) to feeling more like a boy, which is really rough. I identify as genderfluid, and on days where I identify more strongly as a boy I sometimes suffer panic attacks or depression because of serious gender dysphoria during those times. Some things help... if I'm feeling more boyish I dress the part to feel more comfortable, but I end up despising my curves then. I end up extremely jealous of my wife, who is slender with short hair and can easily pass for either gender because even if I dress like a boy, I don't even come close to looking like one. I've tried chest binders, but they just aren't strong enough, or my chest is just too big, because they don't hide it all the way -- even if it worked, my hips are anything but masculine. And, I have long hair. It is one of the few things that I like about my appearance no matter how I feel. I think even if I could magically change into a boy when I felt like one, I would keep the long hair... but combine that with my curves and it is just hopeless to try to look how I feel or feel comfortable in my own skin on "boyish" days. I was just wondering if anyone else deals with this or has any kind of advice... I've tried wigs, which sometimes cheers me up for a little bit, but they are itchy and way too warm for Florida weather sadly.... Anyway, sorry for the long rant, and thanks in advance for any advice. -Ryn
You might try a ponytail... and playing around with hairclips... you might try sweaters one or two sizes bigger, maybe in black or dark colour... you might try baggy or unisex or mens trousers... You might have a look here: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/159766-expressing-less-feminine.html (*hug*)
Thanks Jay77 -- I do usually go with ponytails to help out with that, and it does make me feel a bit better. And thanks for linking me to that thread -- there are so many good ideas in there. I'll definitely try hitting up the local thrift shops, and keep an eye out for sweaters and loose slacks. I do try to adjust my accessories accordingly, too (I have dangly earrings for when I feel more feminine, and stainless steel studs for when I'm feeling more masculine), although there are a couple things that I freak out if I don't have them on me sadly (a tiger's eye beaded bracelet and a simple stone pendant). I'd like to think they look kind of unisex... hopefully. When I go I'll try to keep an eye out for Bermuda shorts, too, since I've always felt a little better wearing those as opposed to regular "women's" shorts on my boyish days...
