So, I hope this doesn't come out sounding as rude, but there is one thing I do not understand, and that is crossdressing. Is crossdressing just a stepping point towards gender change? Is it a way of expressing gender for people who have dysphoria, but not so severe as to undergo a gender change? Is it a fetish? I know it is probably different from person to person, I was just brainstorming. Once again, in no way do I mean this as an insult. It's actually the completely opposite, I want to learn more about this so I can respect people who do it, just like I have learned about dysphoria in general and learned the hardships you people go through. Thanks everyone for the input.
Yes. Yes. Yes. It really is different for everyone. For many trans people, "crossdressing" is how we start, it's a compulsion based on our desire to live as our true gender, though we may not realise at the time. Just a tip though - it's a little problematic to call it "crossdressing". Though it's difficult to find an alternate term, "crossdressing" is wearing clothes of the opposite gender. Someone who identifies as a man but wears female clothes is a crossdresser. Trans people wearing the clothes of their identified gender is not crossdresssing. To call it that implies that they're not really of that gender. I'd be uncomfortable if I was wearing a skirt and somebody told me I was crossdressing. No, I'm crossdressing when I'm wearing guy clothes. This is just dressing. I'm sure you didn't mean anything by it, but it's something to keep in mind.
You might have a look here, at the first pdf: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gender-identity-expression/156085-i-just-im-kind-scared.html#4 (*hug*)
I'd say it's also a way to feel better about ourselves. I wouldn't say that I have dysphoria towards my male self, but it feels good sometimes when I'm dressed more feminine.
It's a fab way of expressing your desires or true gender without any drastic changes. For example, i got very depressed recently and bought myself some female underwear and skinny jeans, they perked me right up because it felt like i was getting closer to expressing who i really am. That make sense? PS, love the avatar! JAKE THE DOG!
It can be, but it can also not be. Some people are okay with their gender but not their gender expression; one example is this guy in Wyoming who doesn't want to change his gender but feels best in frilly clothing. Although maybe he does want to change his gender and he's just closeted about it; he just seems very happy to be read as male but wearing women's clothing. And it doesn't seem to be a fetish. That's not to say that it isn't for other people; but there are no absolutes when it comes to cross dressing.
I am female. I know I am, and I have no desire to transition. But, that being said, I love crossdressing. For me, it's not a fetish, it's just that male clothes and short hair make me feel more comfortable. Maybe it's because I grew up with three brothers?
I suspect it varies from person to person. When I was at the 'gay venue' I noticed a huge difference between the over-the-top, flamboyant 'drag queens' (they were fun, by the way), and the trans folk I would also see, not loud at all, just quietly mingling, and being a sensitive sort I could pick up that for the trans folks, it was a very personal thing, something deep and emotional, to dress as they did (please note I'm not trying to speak for trans folks! just relating what I picked up, the energy I could sense), whereas for the 'drag queens', well really I got the feeling that for them, it was just good, clean (or sometimes not lol) fun. But then again, one cannot tell what lurks underneath even a flamboyant exterior. Maybe there are even some drag queens who happen to be trans as well? I really don't know enough to say, I'm still rather new to this world. And, of course, there's nothing wrong at all with any of these. It's a free world, so long as we don't harm anyone we are free to do whatever we please...
I can't explain any of it, but I can offer the fact that I have known straight men who were into and sexually excited by wearing women's clothing, but they were not gay, they had no desire to have sex with men, and they had no desire to be women. And before anyone says that they really are *whatever*, I accept what people say about their sexual/gender identity at face value. I don't like it when someone says I'm not really gay, so I don't do it to other people. So, I think that just wearing the clothes of the opposite gender is something that can be done by a variety of orientations, for an even more diverse variety of reasons.
I think for some people it can help them find their gender and for others It's either a fetish or 'I like how it feels' sort of thing. Cisgender men can have a feminine gender expression and transgender women can have a masculine gender expression....why not? It's normal for women these days to wear pants and men's clothing but most of us that do are cis. So some cis men may be expressing themselves in a similar way.
There are definitely trans drag queens (and kings). The reigning drag king at a local club is actually genderfluid, and they do boy drag (dressing as a man) AND girl drag (what most people think of as drag when no gendered royalty is involved). And remember, even straight people do drag too. As for crossdressing, I tend to do it for secret kicks, although not overtly sexual/ fetish. I'm DFAB but genderfluid, but some days that I feel male, I still want to wear a dress/ pink/ frilly etc stuff. So I am essentially a guy in a dress, but no one knows. :roflmao: It's super fun. ^__^
Dear user123456 : I don't know how you would describe this feeling, but the moment that I first put on women's clothing and began cross-dressing, I felt like a great weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I began by putting on a pink bra, and then a pink garter belt and hot pink stockings. Then I pulled on a really tight pink t-shirt and pink short-shorts, and finally pink Mary-Jane little girls shoes. I dared myself to run out to Wal-Mart, and the thrift store. The first two min utes of the trip were terrifying, because this was a whole new me, but I'm Jaymegurl, slut of Huntely, and I really didn't give a d**** about what others thought. I love to wear dresses, skirts, capris, tight hooker pants, etc.... this is what I feel I was meant to be. Jaymegurl
one way that I've heard it described as "feeling like you've come home." I have had that experience. it is this incredible feeling of "this is who I am, this is where I belong, this is home." I think that is another way of saying what jaymegurl called "a great weight lifted off." It just feels right!
I rarely do it. I don't do it now that I'm married to my wonderful husband. Although he seems to not mind if I do. I just got a male hair cut for the first time (still a like female to it) And that turned him on. He is Bi. He does not cross dress and would never do so. But I secretly have two personalities. One is me, the other is Jaaku or male me i guess. (I"m still trying to understand it all and its been a decade) But For me it is a way to make Jaaku comfortable. When is comes out he don't feel my chest on him. But when he bends down to pick something up and he sees my chest it almost freaks him out. IN his mind its like he randomly got a C cup and he just lets me back out as if he is ashamed or embarrassed. Even though nobody knows he exsits. But when i cross dress he don't have to worry about noticing female parts (good thing he is a virgin) I don't know how that would work out for him otherwise.
I think it's important to separate cross dressing as a behavior, from gender identity and sexuality. People have different motivations for doing so, but fetishism, stress, and oppressive roles probably play parts for a lot of people. Like, there are a lot of straight guys out there who see themselves as just that: straight guys, while some might see themselves as being more bigender, or something else. Sure, it might play a step for some who find out later they're actually trans, but I'd say that's a minority, and not representative of everyone.
