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A euphoria after coming out? Does it always fade? Does it ever come back?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Philgeta, Mar 10, 2016.

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  1. Philgeta

    Philgeta
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    If I had to label myself I'd say I'm Pansexual. At the end of last year I came out, first of all to myself, gave myself permission to like whoever I like, and not be embarrassed about it. This was accompanied by such a feeling that's hard for me to explain.
    I call it euphoria because I wanted to get out and live, try new things, have new experiences, which if you knew me you'd know is NOTHING like me at all! But this feeling was also peaceful because I was just so comfortable in my own skin; my depression, irritability, insecurity, feelings of inadequacy, constantly comparing myself to others, ALL GONE! I thought, if I knew all I had to do is not be embarrassed about not ONLY liking women, I would have done it decades ago! I would say "God forgive me for all the years of life I've wasted".

    Long story short, I know too late, this feeling whatever it was, faded. I could FEEL it fading and my God it was so disappointing! I think I'm still nowhere near as depressed as I was before I came out, I was a huge mess. But I'm a little more irritable, a little more insecure, a little less comfortable in my own skin, than I was a couple months ago right after I had my little "epiphany".
    How common is my story? The amazing feeling, and then it fades. Does it ever come back? Anyone found a way to keep it permanently? Hell I'd even settle for occasionally. Has there been anything written on this phenomenon? Thank you all for listening. Or reading, you know what I mean...
     
    #1 Philgeta, Mar 10, 2016
  2. guitar

    guitar
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    The day I came out to a large chunk of my family and friends (6 family members and/or close friends in a day), and then the day when I came out on Facebook to get everyone else in my life on the same page were pretty amazing days. I felt pretty damn good both of those days. Massive weights lifted off my shoulders and the support was entirely positive.

    Like any feeling or accomplishment, the feeling doesn't last. It's like getting married: you don't revel in the same feeling as you did on your wedding night. But there doesn't mean there can't be moments of bliss/euphoria again.

    It's almost impossible to feel 100% comfortable in your own skin all of the time. Same goes with your sexuality. Most of the time, I'm very comfortable in my own skin and with liking guys. But if I wind up in some unfriendly company, especially if they don't know me, I might second-guess coming out to them.
     
    #2 guitar, Mar 10, 2016
  3. Philgeta

    Philgeta
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    That gives me some encouragement, thank you.
     
    #3 Philgeta, Mar 11, 2016
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