Divorced with kids

Hi Adam. I'd say my story is pretty similar. I have two kids nearly the same ages as yours and a divorce pending. I never acted on my gay attractions until I came out to my wife nearly a year ago. I'm out to my extended family and a few friends but not at work or to the larger community. I expect to come out to the kids very soon.

 

I relate to the identity crisis. While I have no doubt I'm gay, I often wonder how much of my personality is the result of living an inauthentic life for so many years. How would I be different if I had come out at a younger age? How much of the "real" me is salvageable and which of the inauthentic parts are so ingrained that they can't be changed? In other words, who Is the real me? Bit by bit I'm figuring it out and I'm liking much of what I'm discovering about myself.

 

Hi I'm 32 told my wife I was gay last year. I haven't told my kids but they see me around my boyfriend and I don't hide anything from them. Just see us chilling cuddling etc, my kids are 4/6 my eldest kinda did a second take one time but since then he doesn't bat an eye lid, my plan was to not come out but just let him see me being me.

It's different for older children I suppose they will need actually speaking to at some point.

If you want to chat to me feel free to Message me

Peace

 

sounds like my story too. split from the wife in june last year, for non-LGBT issues. came out to myself this spring as BI, and while i've made a few forays into the greater LGBT community i am not out to my 16 year old and or anyone else in the family, work etc. i am waiting for the divorce and custody to be settled, then i will come out to him, and others can find out or not. it isn't easy to hide things from him as he is very observant for a teenager and he lives with me as he doesn't want to live with her due to her unstability. any questions pop me a message and i will answer if i can.

welcome to EC

BTW im 47, so later in life as we say.

 

Hi, Adam. I'm in my early 50's and came out to my wife a year ago, as well as my teenage daughters. I'm really out to basically everyone who matters at this point, and those whom I haven't told directly have probably heard through the grapevine. Although I'm still living with my wife and kids for (mainly but not exclusively) financial reasons, I have a great boyfriend whom I spend as much time with as I can, and we're planning on a future together.

Coming out to people was very hard at first, starting with the toughest one (myself!). It gets easier and easier as time goes by, though, and actually becomes a little addictive. It feels good to be honest about who you are, especially after suppressing it for years. We each have our own unique challenges in the process, but in the end it's worth it. Best of luck to you!

 

Hey 2kidsadam, welcome to EC!

There are many stories among us in of the Later-in-Life set that are similar to yours and I am certain that there are situations unique to you, from which we could all learn.

When it comes to telling the kids, check this out:

http://emptyclosets.com/forum/lgbt-later-life/128612-how-i-intend-tell-kids.html