Lacking In Gay Sexual Education. Big Time..

First, it's nice to see you feeling better.

Second, let's get to the subject.

Gay sex isn't always about the backdoor, if you don't want to, you are not obligated to do it. If you want to, exercise alone (or not) by fingering yourself, then, when you'll feel ready, use a dildo. Then you'll be ready to exercise with someone.

As you said, if you do anal, lube is the main word. Really. Don't go easy on it.

For oral, I don't have any tips, even if I'd love to know more about it

That's all I have to say, sorry I can't help more

 

Glad to see you're feeling better

With anal there are two important things: lube (which you already mentioned) and condoms. Regardless of whether you're giving (top) or receiving (bottom), stds are a high probability if you're not using protection. If you're bottoming you have to keep communication with your sexual partner open. If something is hurting you or making you uncomfortable you need to let them know. Likewise if you're topping you have to be considerate.

Oral, not the best person to give advice bout that so wait and see what other people say.

Hope I helped

 

I remember sex education in school. Pretty pathetic. It didn't include same sex or oral sex in anyway. I wasn't dumb by any means at that point. I think general sex education should include same sex and oral sex.

 

Well, let's see here...

Regarding oral:

First and foremost - watch the teeth. Even a glancing impact or scrape by a guys teeth when he's giving oral can be extremely painful for the receiver. A good way to avoid bumping a guy with your teeth is to treat the penis sort of like an ice cream cone or popsicle where you're just sucking on it rather than scraping it or biting it with your teeth.

You can even use a popsicle (some of them are approx. the right shape and size) as a fun and tasty way of practicing.

Second - for all the sound-n-fury about deepthroating - it's nice, but not necessary (and some guys may not like it - like most things it's likely to be a matter of taste). You can make a guy feel really good in lots of ways besides taking him all the way into your throat - and many guys aren't big enough to do that anyway.

Do not feel you must do it and if you do want to learn to do it, take it slow and work up to taking a guy fully into your throat - with a bit of practice you can learn to both get around your gag reflex and relax the muscles in your throat. But it's not something you generally are just going to do on the first try, nor should you try to force it (or let someone else try to force it).

Third - Things you can do other than deepthroating:

a) Sucking - this is the 'traditional' move, like your sucking on a baby bottle (or a popsicle). A variation is to move your entire head back and forth as you do it and/or alternating exactly where in that process you apply the most suction (note that different guys have different preferences or tolerances for how much suction they like/can handle).

b) Licking - This can be as straightforward as licking like an ice cream cone, or more complex - running your tongue around in circles on the tip of a guys penis, or where the foreskin attaches to the penis (it's often still there even if the guy is circumcised), or just very lightly along the shaft. Licking the testicles can also be very appreciated, especially for some guys who really like it.

c) Nibbling - This is gently (emphasis on gently) nibbling or chewing on a guy, using your teeth. This is probably journeyman grade stuff, since you want to be able to judge the pressure carefully and also avoid moving your head back and forth while doing it to avoid scraping (see above). But done properly this can feel good and be psychologically intense as well.

d) Whiskers, s*****, and beards - In the heat of the moment it can feel awesome for an unshaven guy to rub his face on a guy's crotch - but care needs to be taken. What feels great in the moment can feel like serious beard burn the next day when you get in the shower and the hot water hits your junk (ouch!). So, whether you're the guy receiving or the guy giving - practice moderation when doing this particular activity, even if you're really reveling in it at the time.

e) Hands - As much as the focus of oral is on the mouth, don't forget that you've got two hands and they can definitely add to the experience. They can be used to play with a guys nipples, run gently over his body, play with (or just gently cup or squeeze) the testicles, and masturbate the penis in between or in combination with the use of the mouth (e.g., sucking or licking the head of the penis while stroking the shaft or gripping it around the base or both).

Other Issues:

1) Facials or Not - Whether to let a guy ejaculate on your face is pretty much a matter of taste. You may not like it (in which case don't feel you need to do it) or you may enjoy it beyond all measure and consider experiencing it to be a major goal in any sexual experience you have.

Similar things can be said about letting a guy ejaculate on your chest or genitals.

If you do decide to try being on the receiving end of a facial - have a damp (preferably warm) cloth handy for cleanup afterward (unless you decide you want to eat it - more on that later), and be especially careful to avoid getting semen in your eyes - it burns!!

2) To Swallow or Not to Swallow - This issue is one of both personal preference (some guys love the taste/texture of semen, others hate it, and many don't care much either way) and safety (the chances of contracting HIV is greatly reduced in oral sex, but not zero - especially if you have open cuts or sores in the mouth - and there are other diseases that can be contracted). At the end of the day you need to decide how you want to handle this. That might mean swallowing, masturbating a guy as he finishes outside of your mouth, or spitting out the results if he does finish in your mouth. Or using a dental dam or condom (non-lubricated) during the act.

If taste/texture are a concern, it is relatively easy, via a combo of positioning, and rapid swallowing, to take an ejaculation and get almost no taste or texture out of it. Note that some guys will want to kiss you immediately afterward, or even have you hold their semen in your mouth and then kiss you so they can take some and taste themselves. Again, this is a matter of personal taste, not a requirement.

If you're thinking of 'testing the waters' by tasting your own after masturbation, bear in mind that your reaction to it in the aftermath of an orgasm when you're not horny anymore may be very different from what it will be when you are horny and haven't finished yet. Or not.

On a final, and rather different note - Mutual masturbation is another alternative to anal that can be a lot of fun. For info on that, I'd suggest going to a place like jackinworld.com, checking out the different techniques described there and giving some thought to how they might be done with a partner or mutually together with a partner.

Ok, I think that about covers it.

Hope this helps,

Todd

 

AKTodd-

Fantastic primer. There's a lot of great information there. Thank you!

 

Thanks, Chiroptera, I was just going to mention those resources, myself.

But there is something missing here and in the EC resources. It seem like there is almost no mention of foreplay. For some of us foreplay is more important - or even an alternative preference - to anal or oral sex. And whether one prefers frottage, anal, oral, intercrural sex, foreplay is still very important if both partners are going to have a satisfactory experience.

I don't have time to write on that right now, but if someone else would care to address it...

I just wanted to be sure it isn't overlooked...