hi guys i previously wrote about my crush on my best friend (http://emptyclosets.com/forum/famil...27838-major-crush-best-friend-quite-long.html) and for the longest time I thought she liked me too. But yesterday night she said she is straight and can't think of herself as a lesbian or bisexual. I asked her why. she said that she has 2 friends who are bi, one of whom confessed to her previously. but she rejected that girl. I asked her why. was it because she didn't like her personality or because she was a girl. She said that she rejected the girl because she was a girl, and she felt a 'repelling force against girls'. She says she wants to get a bf soon. My rational mind tells me to give up, but I am so in love with her. god I feel like the girl in Grease- I love someone who can't love me back. I feel so tormented because I have to suppress my feelings for her though I see her every day. when I am not with her, I have the urge to text her to come over. She has asked me if I was a lesbian before and I said no, which technically is the truth because I believe I am bisexual. I just don't want to come out to her because she will know why I am always so nice to her. I can't understand why she hugs me around my neck when she is straight. she is making me so confused. I keep trying to delude myself to think she is lying about not liking girls, but I think i should come to terms with it.
It's so frustrating when people send out mixed signals, but she's said what she's said and I think it's best left at that. She knows you're attracted to women so she probably harbours suspicions over your favoured treatment of her. Perhaps that's why she confided in you about her other bi friend, to avoid having to turn you down and continue to enjoy being close to you while keeping that barrier up?
Thanks anon for your reply. I never thought of it this way. Yeah maybe you are right. She told me about her bisexual friend having a crush on her to push me away gently. I knew this story long ago, just that I was too stupid to put two and two together. I guess it is good that she rejects me indirectly because I dont think I can deal with a straight out rejection. Unfortunately, my feelings towards her dont vanish overnight just because it is unrequited. I have to force myself not to try to contact her cos it is study break now though she is next doors. I am so in pain.
