I need answers.

I've been posting loads over the last few months at first it was about my ocd now I just need to find someone this has happened to.

When I was growing up I was straight. I loved everything about women. I was very strongly sexually attracted to women then one random twist of fate and I woke up with the obsession I'm gay. It was completely based on nothing. It was just the words I'm gay repeating over and over for 6 months. Then that died but my attractions to women never returned.

7 years later at 25 I suddenly feel attracted to guys. It has set off my ocd again. I'm about 6 months into the spike and have been in bed the.whole time. But this has been evolving and has made me realise I havnt been straight since that night when I was 17. I have been asexual for 7 years which became normal so didn't really think about it. Have been in and still in a long relationship but due to work I havnt seen my gf in months.

Nobody believes me that this can happen, my family doesn't belive me, I have doubts that my shrinks believe me, my gf certainly doesn't, they all say my ocd but I'm pretty certain this attraction is real. And because I havnt really felt any sexual attraction for years it's really odd, and having a hard time accepting this. I've been suicide for most of this year now.

Can orientation change after puberty? It's not a.case of finding my true orientation. I was without doubt straight but that's been a long time ago. I would never have thought this would happen. Am I destined to be gay now? All I keep reading is that sexuality is static and it can't change. That's what's keeping me in denial. I feel like I'm going mental, if anyone knows of someone or has them selves experienced this I really need to speak to them. As of.right now I feel I'm the only person that this has happened to. I still feel like I'm straight. My personality is of a straight guy. Wtf is going on with me

 

I promise you I am not. This is the response I receive from everyone. Which I honestly understand your reasoning. And I wish I was trolling but the sad truth is Ian not.

 

I'm posting so many threads because I am going through huge emotional turmoil right now and I thought this was the place to seek help. I guess I was wrong. I know I have ocd and it's making life harder than it needs be but that still doesn't explain that I used to be attracted to girls from childhood to 18 then 18-25 no strong attractions to 25- attracted to guys. I won't seek for help anymore!! Thanks

---------- Post added 28th Apr 2014 at 07:42 PM ----------

It feels like my gayness is evolving. Lol. Im still yet to be aroused by guys but anxiety has been pretty bad. The attractions have been getting much stronger over the last month or so.

 

I have noticed that quite alot people love to preach about sexuality fluidity but when it gets down to it people feel the need to deny it down to the ground

 

You don't need to keep replying to me if your getting offended. I don't mean to offend anyone. I'm simply trying to figure things out. If I was a troll I'm sure I would find a subject that's hilarious to get under people's skin but no, I'm going through a.nightmare and I'm simply reaching out to the community to find answers.

 

Not the ones I'm looking for

 

I didn't realise I'm speaking to the boss of the Internet. Look this has got out of hand. Let's go our separate ways. I will keep asking my questions till I have the answers I need and you please ignore my questions until I have the answers I need. Thank you

 

No problem, but remember that people on EC aren't stupid.[/QUOTE]

I know that, that's why I come here in search for help as apposed to the church in an attempt to pray the gay away.
Erm I was taking alot of drugs at the time I always put it down to that. I was first diagnosed with schizophrenia because of that but it's not until 6 months ago I was diagnosed with ocd. But the shrink doesn't know if I'm gay or not yet. I know this sounds nuts even to me but it honestly feels like I turned gay over night and it's just taken this long to surface. Because my sexuality has been none existent ever since. Even though I've been in long relationships and slept with alot of clicks it has never been what it used to be like. I know all about false attractions as I've had them in the past, but this feels genuine. I know I'm going round and round in circles but it's my crazy minds way of processing things

---------- Post added 28th Apr 2014 at 08:50 PM ----------

Forget ocd for a minute, what other logical explanations can there be?

 

Hi yes I can understand why it annoys people but my thoughts evolve daily and I need to express them. But see this is where I feel like I'm different I was very sexually attracted to women. I can still remember women I was attracted to. Tv and real life. There was no repression. But this is where things get weird I feel like theres been 2 me's in my life, the old me and this guy. I may well have repressed things since that first day but the fact remains I used to be very attracted to females. That's why I find this very difficult to comprehend. I feel the impossible has happened. The attractions I had to women was so much stronger than they are to guys now but that's probably down to puberty.
I honestly remember thinking when I was about 16. Why would anyone be gay women are far too hot. Lol

---------- Post added 28th Apr 2014 at 09:10 PM ----------

I used to be the stereotypical guy. I thought with my penis all through high school. I'm ashamed to say that even having a girlfriend didn't stop me from doing what I wanted to do. But after that day my interests in women diminished but it became normal for me.

---------- Post added 28th Apr 2014 at 09:14 PM ----------

Let's say orientation can't change. I know with every fibre in my body I used to be straight and now Im pretty sure I'm not, what logically could the explanation be?