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Can you experience sexual attraction, yet not want sex?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Nychthemeron, Aug 13, 2014.

?

Can you experience sexual attraction, yet not want sex?

  1. Yes.

    16 vote(s)
    94.1%

  2. No.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%

  3. Other. / I don't know.

    1 vote(s)
    5.9%
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  1. Nychthemeron

    Nychthemeron
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    My body seems to label things differently from my mind. What is romantic to my mind is sexual to my body. When I fantasize, I fantasize about kissing, biting, and cuddling. This arouses me. Yet, it doesn't seem remotely sexual to me.

    Another example, when I and a random person is aroused:

    Bob: Man, he is so sexy.
    Me: Man, he is so beautiful.

    Beautiful seems to carry a romantic weight to my mind, yet a sexual weight to my body. Instead of describing someone who arouses me as sexy, I describe them as pretty or beautiful.

    What the hell?

    In any case, I put up a poll this time. You don't have to read through a ten page essay to see what I'm trying to ask.

    Here is a more in depth explanation:

    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexua...d-help-sorting-out-my-sexual-orientation.html
     
    #1 Nychthemeron, Aug 13, 2014
  2. Candace

    Candace
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    Yes! I have attraction as in, I'd love to make out with them and maybe do naughty things etc. etc. If I truly do find them sexually attractive, I think "I could see having sex with them, but maybe they wouldn't want to" or "Not right now, possibly later". I have sex with guys who I feel truly deserve it and it's a privilege, not a right.
     
    #2 Candace, Aug 13, 2014
  3. Reptillian

    Reptillian
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    I feel sexually attracted to a cactus, but I am not gonna try.

    Nuff said. Sorry for the image if anyone don't get this.
     
    #3 Reptillian, Aug 13, 2014
  4. ThePrideInside4

    ThePrideInside4
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    I'm not sure what the question is. But if you are asking the difference between attraction and sexual/physical attraction, I might be a bit of help. Attraction is more of "Ooh, she's cute, I like her, I want to date her" and sexual and/or physical attraction is more like "She's so sexy, I want her in my pants, I want to have sex with her".
     
    #4 ThePrideInside4, Aug 13, 2014
  5. browneyedgirl

    browneyedgirl Guest

    I sort of feel like "sexual attraction" means that you want to have sex to whatever you are turned on by...I may be wrong?

    If I see a guy I'm attracted to, my mind will think about having sex with him and get turned on by that/him. (sexual attraction)
    If I read a story about two guys having sex with each other I may get turned on but I don't want to have sex with either of these people. (sexual response)
     
    #5 browneyedgirl, Aug 13, 2014
  6. Chip

    Chip
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    Yes, absolutely. There are plenty of people who for whatever reason aren't that excited by sex. (People who, by the way, are ordinary hetero, homo or bisexuals who don't identify as demisexual/asexual/gray-ace/or any of the other unrecognized labels).

    Everyone's sex drive is different, and you can feel a strong connection to someone without necessarily wanting to have sex with them, and you can feel sexual attraction but for whatever reason not particularly want to, or enjoy, sex. All of these are normal, natural states of being and not part of any special category of sexual orientation/preference/desire/etc.
     
    #6 Chip, Aug 14, 2014
  7. Nychthemeron

    Nychthemeron
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    I think I managed to make a misunderstanding. Sorry.

    Maybe a better phrasing would be "Can you experience sexual attraction and be averse to sex?"

    "Averse to sex" meaning that you are averse to the idea of sex of you and another person, not the act in general. Not "sex isn't my cup of tea" but "sex with me? NO. NO." Unless, of course, they're the same thing.

    I get that there are some sex-averse (?) people out there who DO experience sexual attraction, but what is it like? Do they feel like they want sex in their fantasies, but not in real life? Or maybe they don't want to imagine that sort of sex at all, and just want to do "sexual things"? And what exactly are sexual things?

    I feel like I'm making no sense whatsoever. I should probably go on Google now.
     
    #7 Nychthemeron, Aug 14, 2014
  8. Young Blood

    Young Blood
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    I don't think I can offer any helpful advice, but I do know what you are experiencing. I find romantic, intimate things sexier than sexual acts. I do not desire to have sex, nor do I fantasize about it. I get sexual attractions and get turned on, but I do not want the actual sex. I've tried watching porn to see if maybe that would change, but it just grosses me out to be honest. I find being really intimate with someone is a lot more satisfying to me. But I'm a demi, so I think in the future I may want to have sex, but I need to be emotionally bonded with someone first. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone :slight_smile:
     
    #8 Young Blood, Aug 14, 2014
  9. Nychthemeron

    Nychthemeron
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    Thanks Young Blood. And thank you everyone else for answering the thread and the poll. I posted another thread that was more on-spot than this one, so just focus on the question now, and not the petty details I put in the OP. :lol:
     
    #9 Nychthemeron, Aug 16, 2014
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