It sounds so stupid. I mean, we all know that you are born gay, not turned gay. But I would like to bring it up for discussion because my husband went to jail for four years and when he came out he was changed. We never kissed again after that (it's been a decade). He was very close to his cell mate but I know he maintained acting straight while in jail because a childhood friend of mine was locked up with him and I asked him.
Jail does not make anyone gay. However it can make them realise previously suppressed same-sex attraction.
what other reasons do you have to think that your husband is gay? Do you have sex with him at all? It could be that he was assaulted-and is struggling with this, hence he avoids intimacy with you, because he did not come to terms with it.. did you consider this?
I started this other thread in which I ask if he's gay and describe some reasons I think he might be.
This may not be what you think... Your husband spent four years in a cage where his bunk mate was his constant companion. This may not have been a sex issue at all. Arrange for three meals to be brought to a room a day for four days and you be locked in unable to leave with nothing to do, no tv, no internet, a book at best and also have the room temp beyond your control. YOU CONTROL NOTHING! I'll bet you cannot do it, but he had four years he had no choice, had horrors of court, then witnessed horrible acts (violence), and could not leave. My ex Michael ended up doing time in a work camp in a dorm situation where rapes, murders, and he even had to witness a young man hang himself to give you a few. The gangs and guard on prisoner violence, showering in public, etc. Mike was never the same after his experience but confided those things to me, I imagine there was more he never told me. He was colder towards me and wanted sex less for a long time, but time did snap him out somewhat, but never was quite the same completely, we ended 11/ 2013. 9/ 2014 I totaled my car while drunk and spent four days in jail, not prison like our guys, and it really made me understand what a horror being locked up and your freedom taken really is like. We Americans take freedom for granted, TRUST ME WE DO!!! While I spent my four days hungry, cold then too hot, being fed food I would not feed my dog (who eats fresh beef and cheese mostly) I was shocked and terrified that I could get time in jail if the judge wanted! Just for one big mistake I made??? I saw no sex, but befriended many of the men around me who talked for hours to me and I felt good to be useful in what seemed like a nightmare. Keep in mind I was the only female (in spirit) locked in a dorm of about fifty men which if I did not trust in God, and walk in faith could have been the scariest part! Yes the all knew me as June, not as my male given name and being genuine rather than fake probably made the difference for my dorm experience. I could not have handled four years of that without going somewhat crazy! I hope this may put some perspective on your situation and feel free to correspond with me. Sincerely, June
There's a difference between sexual conduct and sexual attraction (not that it's necessarily what you were talking about here). I think many straight men in jail have gay sex because there's no better option, but once they come out of jail they're still straight. If it's different for someone and they feel gay or bi afterwards, they weren't straight to begin with and the sexual experiences with other men helped them realize that.
A man can have sex with another man but not be gay. I think a lot of men in jail have sex with other men while they fantasize about women.
