Realising I'm a lesbian however I'm surrounded by friends who I do love and they are there for me in many ways but constantly being homophobic, saying how lesbians scare them and are gross and "butchy". They always say these things around me and it's always brought up in conversation, they must not assume I'm gay because I'm femme and during my stage of denial I messed around with lots of guys which was the worst thing I've ever done It's so lonely having no one to talk to about this and I'm somewhat ready to come out I'm soooooo scared to tell my parents but if I did I would feel so free and would be out to everyone after that but what's holding me back is the feeling that my whole life will change for the worst I'll lose friends... I won't be invited out with them and my parents will hate me The worst part about it all is I'm in love with one of my friends but I think she's struggling with her sexuality like I am and goes along with what they all say I need to distance myself from this friend because it's just hurting me but I love being around her but the more I am around her the more I like her. This has been going on for over a year and a half
I would say take it one step at a time honey, maybe come out to the friend (You don't have to tell her how you feel about her) I think that it would make you less alone, d you have friends online that you could talk to to help with this (well actually I think thats why you posted on here
I think it's best if I distance myself from her, I don't want to tell anyone anything now... I have no one too. I have all these friends but they would treat me differently if I told them and I can't concentrate or do anything anymore, can't do my school work or function properly my mind is a mess and constantly thinking about this part of myself which I would be much better off without.
Hey, sweetie. You're obviously very anxious. I'm sorry to hear that you have to bear homophobic comments from your friends. Maybe they would - but you can't know for sure, can you? You're assuming that they'll treat you badly. Maybe they'll think twice about being homophobic around you if you'd tell them? And they might not really hate gay people, you know. Maybe they're just being immature.
I Agree with this 100%. I experienced a horrible amount of homophobic prejudice at my high school. If you're up for the story; check it out here: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-advice/197158-i-may-ready.html . The moral of the story is that people can change, if you give them reason to. Once i made it known how much my friends' comments really hurt people, whether they knew it or not, it stopped, and even improved from there. My high school for the most part, is now a place of tolerance and understanding, all i had to do was raise awareness. I encourage you to do the same, and you should see results quickly, since it sounds like your fiends are just trying to "play it cool." :eusa_doh:
