Hi I'm new here looking for people to connect with who understand coming out very, very late...like years and years into a heterosexual marriage late...and the challenges this makes in life and in relationship. I'm in my 30's married over a decade. Two kids. Only my husband 2 friends and my therapist even know what I'm going through, and they only know pieces. Anyone else on this forum in the same boat even partially?
Umm, sorry! I don't know what you're going through exactly, since I'm one of the youngest members! Still, I'm here to listen and talk things out with you if you need somebody! My name's Chase, and welcome to EC! If you feel comfortable telling us your story, many members here have experienced similar things and would be glad to help. If you still love your husband emotionally, maybe it would be wise to speak with him? No doubt it might hurt him, but as your spouse maybe you two can find a solution.
Hi! Welcome to EC! There are A LOT of us in the same boat, and I've found the best, most supportive group of women to relate to on here. I'm 32, married, and have an 18month old son and just realized that I'm actually a lesbian, so I understand where you are at. Feel free to message me anytime you want to chat! Also! You might want to look at these threads: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-romantic-orientation/143948-has-never-happened-before.html http://emptyclosets.com/forum/lgbt-later-life/152453-fell-love-girl.html
Hey Morgan22...have an idea of what you're going through...I was with my husband 22 years before leaving him and coming out to myself regarding my sexuality...that was 6 years ago now. Good luck with everything...just take it day at a time...or if that's too much hour by hour...minute by minute...what ever works for you...if you want to chat drop me a line
Morgan22 welcome I know what you are going threw I have been married for 20 years and have 2 kids and a grandbaby ! I am 40 years old ,I know this is hard to deal with but I know that you can do it . If you ever need to talk or just need somebody to listen I am here for you !
I just joined. This is my first post, for this exact reason. I'm 33, been together a decade. Two kids. And I'm afraid I've made a terrible mistake. Don't know what to do. I still love him. But more as a friend. And I can't imagine tearing apart our family, but can I be happy with him? So many questions.
Hi there and welcome to EC, I think a lot of women find themselves in your shoes, please don't feel ashamed or badly. I think just take your time in figuring things out and where you wanna be in your life. I can't say I am in the same boat as I am single, however I don't envy the position you are in. It must be really hard and I think you will as much support as you can get, so please know that we are all here for you.
It feels like a lonely situation (I know because I'm there too.) So know that you are not alone and also thanks for assuring me that I'm not alone in this. Good luck with all your struggles and triumphs!
Thanks all for reaching out and letting me know I'm not alone in this. To those of you who are married with kids and still married, have you talked about it with your husbands? How in detail did you get? I've been increasingly more honest the last couple years (I was honest 1st time about it 4 years ago, fairly basic, like "I am actually not attracted to guys, I'm attracted to girls" was as far as it went, and he was surprised, but not even really threatened for some reason...) but it really didn't sink in till last fall with him when he started asking me more pointed questions and I am regretting how honest I was with him because it's caused distance and hurt not true understanding. ...He says he 'accepts' this about me and we do care about each other, sincerely, but I know he's still attracted to me, so it's hard for him to not have it reciprocated and it's like this ghost in the room between us that we don't know what to do with, but we don't want our family to break up either, there's so much good here...It's just so lonely and difficult sexually, to have nothing there between us, and know that I'm the reason why.
Its really hard when being honest hurts someone you love and care about, but saying nothing is still going to hurt him. You might have to be the one that says we could both be happier if we were with someone else if you think that is true. I'm still in the waiting for it to sink in to him phase. Its so tricky to navigate. I don't have kids, so I can't imagine adding that factor. But I would say being open and honest is always best, you just need to be prepared for what that brings. Which in this case might mean that your relationship with you husband changes.
I'm bi and married with 2 kids, but I'm happy to chat sometime about all the issues. The two threads above were really helpful to me when I was coming to terms with everything this summer/fall - who am I kidding - I'm not really done with that
